


Sleep My Love

by ICanSeeClearlyNow



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A Plant Wrote This, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, I love Lilia, M/M, No Major Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phichit Chulanont's Hamsters are alien creatures :), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Star Trek DS9 AU, Violence, Yuri Plisetsky is Major Kira, prison camp mention, recovery from PTSD, some gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-08-21 18:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16581371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSeeClearlyNow/pseuds/ICanSeeClearlyNow
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri was a Bajoran freedom fighter who was captured 5 years ago by the occupying Cardassians. He has just been rescued from one of their hidden Prison Camps by the Federation and is recuperating under the careful attention of one Vedek Victor Nikiforov, a Bajoran Priest who Yuuri admired for years before and during the Cardassian occupation. Yuuri’s recovery is slow but steady. The only blot on the horizon is that he seems to have uncovered a plot to kill Kai Baranovskaya the religious leader of the Bajoran people. It seems the Prophets haven't finished with him yet.





	1. Shattered but the cracks are being sealed with gold

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for the Victuri Big Bang 2.0
> 
> Thank you so much to [8Verity 8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Verity8/pseuds/8Verity8) for the amazing art that accompanies this fic. she's also an amazing writer, go check out her stories!
> 
> A couple of points to note before you, hopefully, wade enthusiastically into this fic.
> 
> Star Trek Deep Space Nine is set on a space station above the recently liberated planet of Bajor next to a wormhole in space.
> 
> Bajoran names are read the same way as Japanese names with the surname first, in case the way I've written some of the character's names seem peculiar.
> 
> The Bajoran religion is not like any religion on Earth despite the similarities the original writers introduced. 
> 
> Also, all the characters in this are at least 5 years older than in canon, because to fit the story both Yuuri and Yuri would have had to be child soldiers and I just can't do that. 
> 
> I've included a Glossary in the end notes.

_I have been researching the events of 500 years ago for a while now. The whole legend of The Emissary and how he persuaded the Prophets to close the wormhole, eliminating the threat from the Dominion, is common knowledge. What about the other people who were part of that time? The slightly more ordinary stories. Although, calling anyone who lived through the years of the Cardassian Occupation ‘ordinary’ is a major understatement. We, who live in more peaceful times, have no idea how hard life was for the people of Bajor. Our present-day peaceful lives were only gained by great sacrifices from all the people of Bajor in those dreadful days._

_This book is an attempt to piece together some of the more interesting stories that were going on behind the story of legend. I have searched the archives and I hope the end result pleases you. The stories are being published in time for Ha’mara, 500 years after the sacrifice of the Emissary himself._

_The first story is regarding the hero of the resistance Katsuki Yuuri and the future Kai Nikiforov._

_Professor Liho Uxel_

_University of Bajor_

_18th Fivemonth 2871_

~

~

Yuuri woke with a gasp and sat bolt upright in bed. He swiped at his eyes furiously to clear the tears from his dream that were still rolling down his face, dragging in a deep, shaking breath.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real. Victor! Victor had said something. Something about centring - no, grounding. Grounding. Yuuri forced his eyes to look at his room, still trying to breathe evenly. The walls of the room, a comforting light green, the smooth sheets draped over his knees and from outside, the noise of birds singing. The impressions blurred, his brain struggling to cope under the power of his emotions.

He tried to draw in another deep shuddering breath, but his heart rate was still elevated. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his face on them, a sob escaping him as he tried to push away the memories. He shook as his brain replayed the memories of the blistering heat, the constant dust and the feel of the plasma whip across his back. Used all too frequently whenever the bastard in charge felt like hitting something, and that something was usually Yuuri. Another sob heaved from his chest and he felt the panic still curling around his heart. Luckily a bird started to sing loudly outside, and the sound was enough to jerk him out of his past and into the present.

Yuuri took a deep breath in and held it as he counted to four. As he exhaled slowly he paid attention to the window above his bed which was open as always, with the leaves on the bushes outside rustling in the gentle breeze. Taking another breath, the holo on the wall was a view of one of the parks in the capital. He breathed out, cataloguing the items on his desk which was neat and tidy with his precious paper journals on one side and his pad, blinking with a message indication on the other. The soft, thick rug on the floor had a typical Bajoran geometrical design in deep greens and blue.

After his breathing had finally calmed down, Yuuri wiped his eyes on the sheet and swung his legs off the bed. His thoughts inevitably went back to Victor. Vedek Nikiforov had been a constant presence in Yuuri’s life for months. Ever since the federation shuttle crew had rescued him and brought him to the Monastery of the Kai for rest and therapy. Yuuri still couldn’t quite believe that the most handsome priest on the planet was looking after him. A priest, he was embarrassed to admit, whom he had been idolising for years. Yuuri had been astounded and amazed when Victor had announced that he would be the one helping Yuuri to recover and recuperate. It had taken weeks before Yuuri would even talk to the Vedek, let alone hold a conversation.

In recent weeks Victor had stopped hovering over Yuuri and left him alone more often. Yuuri was finally beginning to relax and allow Victor to see the real person inside, instead of the mask he had worn for years. As he gradually recovered, the constant nightmares that had plagued him were subsiding. They still had breakfast together every morning, but Victor had returned to many of his original duties.

Yuuri had been vaguely surprised at Victor’s dedication in helping someone like himself. He never expected that the outspoken Vedek would be so calm and quiet when back in the monastery. Victor had had a reputation for being an outspoken critic of the Cardassians during the occupation. Sometimes he even took Gul Dukat to task for actions taken under his command. However, thanks to his natural charm Victor had always managed to deflect the usual punishments for such actions. A few people griped, wondering if he had some hold over the Cardassians that let him get away with such behaviour, something Victor had always vigorously denied. The barbed critic of the Occupational Government was a long way from the gentle, sometimes silly man who spent time with Yuuri.

Recently, Yuuri had spent far too much time looking out of the window, leaning on one hand with his gaze unfocused, thinking about the handsome silver-haired man. He had spent a whole day avoiding Victor the previous week after an incredibly hot dream about the two of them. Even now the memory was enough to make him go pink with embarrassment and make him ache with desire. Trying to stop his mind from reliving the erotic dream yet again, Yuuri wondered if it was worth trying to go outside again.

Their first attempt a few weeks ago had not been successful. The hot sun caused Yuuri to have an instant flashback and he had crumpled to the floor in a shaking mess. Victor’s voice eventually penetrated the memories and a light touch on Yuuri’s hand had focused his mind enough for his vision to clear. He’d blinked and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, Victor’s concerned face gradually becoming clearer. Drawing in a deep breath, he had dropped his gaze down to where Victor’s forefinger gently rested on the back of his hand, focusing on the feeling as Victor spoke softly.

He remembered how upset Victor had been at his mistake. How he had apologised for trying to force Yuuri outside too soon. Yuuri had come so far since then and he felt that maybe, in a few days, it would be time to try again.

~

Several days after, Yuuri surprised Victor over breakfast. They were in Yuuri’s room, as usual, sitting at the desk. Fragrant Milaberry biscuits and Moba fruit jam were still Yuuri’s favourite and Victor made sure to bring some with him every day. He loved the way Yuuri’s face brightened at the sight and smell of the Bajoran foods that he had been denied for so long.

“I’ve been thinking about going out into the gardens,” Yuuri said suddenly.

Victor paused and looked up. Yuuri was watching the trees outside wistfully.

“I miss the open spaces, I’m beginning to feel cooped up and restricted even though I have the window open all the time.” Yuuri turned and smiled at Victor.

Victor felt his heart pound and tried to stop a silly smile from coming across his face in response to Yuuri’s adorable expression. Then he felt his face twist, as the thought of their previous attempt at taking a walk outside crossed his mind. He had not dared to mention walking outside since that last attempt and had left it to Yuuri to make the first move and decide when he was ready. Yuuri explained afterwards how the sun had reminded him of the scorching heat of the mining camp. Bajor's hot summer sun had taken him straight back into his memories.

“If you’re sure?” Victor asked.

“I’m ready,” Yuuri said. “I can feel it. It’s also cloudy today and cooler. You keep telling me that my nightmares are becoming less frequent and I realised this morning that you were right. I haven’t had a bad dream for days.” A blush stole across Yuuri’s cheeks and he dropped his gaze. Victor wondered why.

“I know a lovely route through the gardens that I’d love to show you,” Victor said enthusiastically. He decided not to make a big deal of Yuuri’s thoughts and just get him outside. He felt pleased and excited that Yuuri had found the courage to take that next step. “Do you know how beautiful they are? Even the Cardassians complimented them and left them alone.” Victor hesitated slightly before mentioning the Cardassians. The Vedeks had agreed, though, that Yuuri had to accept that they were still a part of the universe as much as he would like to try to shut them out. He needed to come to terms with their existence, even if they never set foot on Bajor ever again. Yuuri still hadn’t raised his gaze from the table and Victor wondered if he had said something wrong again or even if Yuuri had heard what he said.

“Yuuri?” Victor reached a hand across the table, frowning. “You’re growing dreadfully pale, cooped up inside like this.” He touched the back of Yuuri’s hand with one finger, the only touch he would allow himself even though he wanted so much more. Yuuri looked up quickly and met Victor’s gaze with a quick smile. Victor’s heart squeezed as he lost himself for a moment in Yuuri’s soft brown eyes.

“I know. I should have tried harder. I shouldn’t have been so pathetic.” Yuuri’s hand formed a fist on the table.

“Yuuri, with what you’ve survived, I can’t help admiring your strength and bravery. Only you know when you’re ready to face things. I’m just so happy you want to go.” Victor smiled at Yuuri, rejoicing in his progress.

It had been some time past that Victor realised that his admiration for Katsuki Yuuri the hero of the resistance had changed into something more. Victor could neither say nor do anything until Yuuri had healed and had left the monastery. Only then could Victor pursue any hope of a relationship, and even that was reliant on Yuuri feeling the same way. A Yuuri who was fit and well may decide that his future lay in some distant part of the galaxy and Victor would let him go without saying a word. He could only hope that the Prophets would guide him and let him know what to do.

~

Yuuri was, well, surprised was an understatement. The design of the gardens reflected the beauty of the entire planet. They were laid out all around the hilltop the monastery rested on and extended for hecapates all around. Views of the surrounding countryside were carefully selected so they came into sight at convenient places for recuperating patients to rest. Waterfalls and pools were hidden along the pathways. There was something new to see around every corner. Birds sang from the trees even on an overcast day like this one.

“You were right Victor.” Yuuri leaned back against the rock when they sat to enjoy one of the viewpoints and looked into the distance with a faint smile on his face. “It is beautiful. I can’t believe I waited this long to do this. Now that I’m out here I don’t want to go back in.”

~

Several minutes later they almost literally walked into Kai Baranovskaya, around a corner of one of the pathways. She was lecturing a rather timid looking young acolyte on the care of the plants.

“...if we do not keep the Makara herb’s roots damp then they will not swell sufficiently to give the–” Lilia stopped haranguing the young woman as soon as Victor nearly walked into her.

“I apologise for interrupting Kai Lilia.” Victor bowed and went to walk around them.

“Wait Victor. It is my turn to apologise.” The Kai turned to Yuuri who was trying, futilely, to fade into the background. Kai Baranovskaya had led the Bajorans through the latter half of the occupation and was revered. The Cardassians had even thrown her into prison several times over the years. She had not allowed that to stop her from attempting to oppose the occupying forces at every turn. Yuuri had never met her before and had only heard of her in awed tones from those few members of the resistance lucky enough to meet her.

“Katsuki Yuuri,” The Kai gave what was obviously meant to be a reassuring smile, but Yuuri felt like she was going in for the kill. “I am sorry that I have not made the time to welcome you to our home and place of rest. We felt at the time that the fewer people you saw the better. I am delighted to finally meet you in person.” She came over to Yuuri and Victor, a serious and intent look on her face.

“If I may?” She held up one hand and Yuuri nodded and held his breath, he always hated having his Pagh felt, he felt exposed and uncomfortable. He always felt that the religious leaders who did it could see directly into his soul and all the turmoil inside. How could he say no to the Kai? Reaching up she grasped Yuuri’s earlobe and bent her head on concentration. Yuuri looked at the floor, not wanting to offend.

“Your Pagh has been through troubled times, Katsuki Yuuri, but is still one of the strongest I have felt,” she released his ear, moving back and Yuuri let out the breath he was holding before he collapsed. “You have done great deeds and more will follow. I hope Victor is looking after you. I’m glad to see you out enjoying the gardens. It seems your recovery is progressing well.”

Yuuri tried to get his brain to kick into gear. Kai Baranovskaya’s sudden appearance and foreboding words had found him trying to suppress a sudden burst of anxiety.

What did she mean ‘more will follow’, hadn’t he been through enough? A light touch to his shoulder stopped his thoughts from tumbling out of control and he looked up at Victor who was watching him with concern.

He shifted his gaze to look at the Kai, “Kai Baranovskaya, I...thank you. I wouldn’t be doing anywhere near so well without Victor’s care and attention. Thank you for allowing me to spend time here, away from everything. I...I appreciate it.”

The Kai’s face softened and she waved her hand dismissively, “My dear Mr Katsuki, there is no need to thank us. It is what we are here for. The spiritual healing of the Bajoran people will take many years and you are one of our heroes. We all want to see you well.” She nodded at them both and placed her hands over her chest saying, “May the Prophets guide you.” The Kai turned back to the acolyte who quickly managed to school her awestruck expression into something approaching polite attention, ready for the lecture to resume.

Yuuri stood stock still for a while before Victor ran his hand down Yuuri’s arm and murmured, “Shall we continue our walk?”

“Yes, o...of course.” They walked for a while in silence, side by side, Yuuri trying to gather his scattered thoughts.

“Victor?”

“Yes, Yuuri?”

“The Kai said that the people want to see me well and that I’m a hero. What did she mean?”

“Ah - I had hoped to leave this until you were more recovered, almost, in fact, ready to leave the monastery.” Victor stood looking down at the burbling stream they were walking past, “Your rescue caused quite a stir a few months ago. The Cardassians were publicly embarrassed and were forced to apologise–”

“Ha!” Yuuri interjected.

“Yes, and people went into a bit of a frenzy when you came back to Bajor. You were something of a hero in the resistance Yuuri, and after they captured you, people told stories of the things you’d done to inspire themselves to resist more. In the five years you were gone, you developed into a folk legend.”

“You what now?” Yuuri started to back away warding off Victor with his hands up and shaking his head. “No, no, I’m nothing special.” He forced the words out through a suddenly tight throat. “I wanted to avenge my family and if I helped people along the way that was great, but I’m not a hero.” The words ‘a hero’ came out in a tone of disgust. Yuuri knew he wasn’t a hero. There were so many lives he had failed to save, so many people, like his family, who he had let down. The emotions overcame him in a rush.

“Yuuri?” Victor reached a hand out, but Yuuri bit his lip and turned, running back towards his room at the monastery, suddenly feeling as if the floor wasn’t level anymore and at any moment he would slide away, back into hell.

~

Victor was left stunned. He thought Lilia’s remark might have surprised Yuuri slightly, but he had never realised that Yuuri had such a low opinion of himself. He obviously hadn’t realised how his story had become the stuff of legend over the last five years. Victor’s heart went out to the younger man. Victor had always been in full view of the people of Bajor, everyone thought he wanted to become the next Kai when Lilia retired, he was used to the pressure. Yuuri had been isolated and abused for 5 years and even before that his small band of resistance fighters were hidden and alone. Victor shook himself and hurried after Yuuri. He knew that Yuuri would start to wonder just what people were saying about him and would work himself up with articles and news stories about himself.

Sure enough, Yuuri was sitting beside his bed with his pad in his hand scrolling down the page looking pale and stressed.

“May I come in?” Victor waited until Yuuri nodded sharply before walking over and sitting on the floor nearby.

“This...all this.” Yuuri waved at the screen. “It’s not true! I didn’t do half of these things. The Plisetskys–” Yuuri’s voice trailed off.

“They were in your group weren’t they.” Victor prompted gently.

Yuuri dragged in a deep breath that turned into a sob. “Yes.”

Victor desperately wanted to take Yuuri in his arms, to soothe the hurt away. “Did you know that their son is a Major in the Bajoran Militia and is the liaison on Deep Space Nine? He managed to become quite the hero himself at the end. He got revenge in quite a spectacular fashion when he blew up the Commander’s official reception one year.”

“Good.”

Neither of them spoke for a while. Yuuri let the pad slip from his hands and put his forehead on his knees.

“The Plisetskys left their son in the care of his grandfather and came to join the resistance,” Yuuri said in a low voice. “They were the backbone of our cell. They saved our miserable lives so many times. Natalya kept us all healthy and Pyotr taught us strategy. When they were killed I could barely continue. It hardly seemed worthwhile anymore. There was so much death, so much destruction.” Yuuri was crying freely now and Victor rested his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder until his sobs subsided.

~

After that day Yuuri steadily improved. He still shied away from new people at the monastery. Victor had not dared to bring up the subject of Yuuri’s family, knowing that he would talk about it when he felt ready. Yuuri spent long periods of time in the gardens. Victor suggested he might like to try running as a form of exercise and that Yuuri might want to help out the gardeners to get his upper body strength back.

Shortly after that Victor chased off a group of acolytes who were hiding behind a window, staring with wide eyes at Yuuri doing stretching exercises in the courtyard in his running gear. Victor had taken one glimpse out of the window to see what they were looking at and blanched. He was already losing sleep over Katsuki Yuuri, but the sight of Yuuri in shorts, pulling an arm over his shoulder with a faraway look in his eyes would stay with him for a long time.

~

Yuuri had been at the monastery for nearly six months when Victor came to find him after his morning run.

“I’ve been wanting to show you something for a while now and I think you’re ready.” Victor led Yuuri to a large room deep below the monastery. The painted stone walls were dark in colour and there was one sun tube allowing light to enter the room from above. The room was bare except for an ornate hexagonal box on a stand at one end. Victor walked over towards the box.

“Wait!” Yuuri pushed his hand out to stop Victor and Victor looked back at him with an eyebrow raised. Yuuri shook his head and began to back away. “That box contains an Orb! You can’t show me an Orb. I’m just an ordinary person from a small town. I don’t deserve to see an Orb of the Prophets.” Yuuri was backing away waving one hand around at the world in general, but Victor came and took one of his hands with both of his. He looked seriously into Yuuri’s eyes.

“Yuuri, my sweet, self-effacing, heroic Yuuri.” Victor rubbed his thumb over the back of Yuuri’s hand and Yuuri felt the heat rise in his cheeks, he looked up at Victor and then wished he hadn’t because Victor’s blue eyes were sparkling and focused totally on him. Yuuri felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Yuuri,” Victor repeated, “This is the Orb of Prophecy and Change. It has been hidden here throughout the occupation and one day this room will hold all the Orbs of the Prophets when we can find them. I wondered if you would like to look into it to see if the prophets will speak with you. When are you going to believe what other people believe about you? Your record stands for itself. The tales I’ve heard from the other camp survivors show me an honourable man. A man who puts other people’s welfare first, one who tries his hardest to protect others even at his own expense.” Yuuri tried to interrupt Victor to deny every ridiculous thing that he was saying, but Victor silenced him by placing a finger on Yuuri’s lips.

“You are more deserving of this honour than most people I have met.” With a final reassuring squeeze to Yuuri’s hand, Victor turned back to the box, saying, “Ready?”

Yuuri knew he wasn’t ready, but then when would anyone, ever be ready for such an honour. He nodded and Victor opened the doors at the front of the box, his handsome face illuminated by the blue lights swirling around the Orb as he looked at Yuuri seriously. Yuuri tore his eyes away from Victor’s face and looked into the mesmerising eddying lights around the orb. They grew stronger and blinded, Yuuri closed his eyes.

_He opened his eyes to an unfamiliar room. He was lying on his back in a bed naked and there was a naked body next to him, curled up close with an arm tightly gripping Yuuri around his chest. For some reason, his emotions were dulled in the vision. He could feel, but he didn’t bolt upright and scramble out of the bed like he knew he would have done if this had been reality._

_He took in the room and noticed that the edges of everything were slightly blurred. He could tell that this was a large apartment with ornate decorations on the walls, but still in the monastery. A gentle breeze blew in from the open doors onto a balcony. The pale sheer curtains drifted lazily beside the doors. The man beside him, he could feel they were a man, mumbled in his sleep and tightened his grip around Yuuri’s waist. Yuuri’s eyes opened wider. Victor!_

_Yuuri turned his head carefully so as not to disturb Victor and his heart pounded when he saw the priest he was rapidly coming to adore lying beside him. Victor was even more handsome in his sleep than he was when awake. Yuuri couldn’t take his eyes of the silver-haired man. He suppressed the urge to brush Victor’s fringe out of his eyes and to stroke his cheek._

_Yuuri stiffened slightly when he heard a noise in the room. Looking over he noticed Kai Baranovskaya in the doorway. He carefully dislodged Victor’s arm and sat up._

_The Kai came towards him. “Yuuri, you will know how to act when the time is right.”_

_The scene blurred fractionally and Yuuri was now standing fully dressed surrounded by people. Victor wandered past murmuring, “My Yuuri, my heart!”_

_The Kai followed shortly after saying “I told them you had it in you.” Yuuri stopped checking the faces and tried to work out where he was. The room was large with deep red walls and the highly decorated ceiling was familiar. He just couldn’t place it. A hand was placed on his shoulder and he looked around into the face of his best friend, Phichit._

_“You’re in the Chamber of the Prophets, Yuuri. You need to act now.” Phichit pointed towards where Victor and Lilia were talking to a minister in the government._

_“What?” Yuuri asked._

_Phichit just pointed, “Go, everything you’ve done has led up to this point.” Yuuri looked at Phichit confused, before walking forward wondering what on earth was going on._

_The scene blurred again and he was staring at a bloody knife on the floor as the Kai collapsed. He raised his shaking hands and they were covered in blood. Victor’s voice over his shoulder was sad as he said, “You did the right thing.”_

Yuuri stumbled backwards away from the Orb and gasped in horror as he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth. Tears had sprung into his eyes and Victor grabbed at his shoulders, stopping him from tripping. Yuuri took great gulps of air, shuddering as he tried to process what he had just seen.

“Victor!” He sobbed.

“It’s okay Yuuri, I’ve got you. I’m here.” Yuuri turned to face Victor and collapsed onto him. Victor pulled Yuuri in tight, tucking Yuuri’s head on his shoulder and running his hands through his hair as the younger man sobbed and then gradually calmed.

“Can you tell me what you saw?” Victor asked gently. He was stroking Yuuri’s hair, which made it hard to concentrate.

Yuuri shook his head against Victor’s shoulder. How, in the name of the Prophets, was he supposed to tell Victor that they were going to be lovers and that he was then going to kill the Kai? A person who Victor held in the highest esteem, a person who Yuuri also held in the highest esteem.

“I...I can’t.” Yuuri wanted to put his arms around Victor and hold onto him tightly. He never wanted to let go, but this was Vedek Nikiforov and Yuuri was just Yuuri.

~

Yuuri managed to avoid Kai Baranovskaya for days after the incident with the Orb. He had hardly slept and he knew it showed. He kept running over and over the dream sequence the Prophets had shown him.

He knew that things were not always as straightforward as they seemed. Victor had spoken to Yuuri at length about the visions given to other people and the stories of what actually happened. None of them had turned out the way the dream sequence showed. The Prophets placed words in people’s mouths that they would never say in reality. Yuuri was grateful to Victor for trying to help, and Victor’s words had helped, but he still couldn’t bring himself to tell Victor what he saw.

To cope Yuuri started to spend more time outside maintaining the gardens; keeping himself occupied to try to stem the whirling thoughts inside his head. He was, at least, so exhausted by the end of the day that his sleeping problems stopped. He knew that Victor worried about him and he knew that he had to tell him soon before the vision became a reality.


	2. Nothing is perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos on the last chapter <3, I hope you enjoy this one even more (Quark and Phichit appear!)

Victor was searching through the gardens looking for Yuuri. He had eagerly taken the opportunity to get to know Katsuki Yuuri when he first came to the monastery, which had resulted in him trying to fight an inappropriate attraction to the other man for months now. Once Yuuri had left the monastery, healed and healthy, then Victor could ask him out. A first date, where they would entwine their feet under the table of the best restaurant on Bajor, and maybe even share a kiss. Victor stopped himself before his imagination could run away with the idea of kissing the taste of wine off Yuuri's lips. Victor would throw everything away for Yuuri if only he would allow Victor to follow.

He regretted showing Yuuri the Orb, thinking it would ease his concerns about Lilia’s words, but instead it had had the opposite effect. Yuuri had retreated back into his room more often and avoided Lilia at all costs. He still wouldn’t talk to Victor about the vision. In fact, more often than not, Yuuri turned red as soon as Victor appeared and appeared to be nervous if the way his speech faltered was any indication. Victor sighed and ran his hand through his fringe in frustration. He needed to fix this, he was the one who had shown Yuuri the Orb and set back his recovery. To that end Victor was trying to find Yuuri to ask if he would like to accompany Victor on his regular trip to see the Bajorans who lived on the Space Station Deep Space Nine.

Following the sounds of chopping, he rounded a corner on one of the paths. He had assumed correctly that Yuuri was again occupying himself with _helping_ in the gardens. The complaints he had received from Hana, the head gardener, were multiplying the longer Yuuri used the overgrown parts of the gardens as a means to relieve his stress. Victor usually replied that it was the monastery’s job to provide comfort and healing to Bajorans in need and that the plants would recover, in the same way that they were all beginning to recover after the Cardassian occupation. Hana would usually huff and glare at him before walking away muttering under her breath.

Victor stopped dead as soon as he saw Yuuri, thankful that his robes hid his body’s nearly instant reaction. Yuuri was standing beside a small flowering Nya tree with a machete in one hand and a pile of hacked growth lying around him. Yuuri was... Yuuri was... sweating… he had stripped down to his trousers leaving his top bare. Victor winced as he saw the painful looking, long-healed scars on Yuuri’s back, put there by the Cardassian whips in the prison camp. He also got a clear view of Yuuri’s rippling muscles and firm backside. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge to confess every feeling, as Yuuri leaned on the tree with one hand and pushed his hair back from his forehead with the other.

Victor slipped back out of sight around the corner so he could recover. He needed to get into a more appropriate state of mind and restore some tranquillity before talking to Yuuri. He knew he couldn't walk up to the man, press him up against the tree, kiss him and rip his trousers off.  Victor smiled ruefully, running his hand through his fringe. With those sorts of thoughts, it was going to take him some time to be calm enough to give no hint of his feelings to Yuuri. He stood on the path and tried to meditate for a while. Even if Yuuri wanted him to, Victor still couldn’t and wouldn't initiate anything while Yuuri was under his care.

~

Yuuri was angry. He was angry at himself more than anything, but a small part of him was raging at the prophets for putting him in this position, for seeming to expect even more of him than he had already given. He was occupying himself by grumpily hacking at a pernicious climber that was smothering one of the small, beautiful Nya trees in the gardens. Even though the gardening exhausted him enough to sleep at night he couldn’t stop thinking about the vision the prophets had shown him. He couldn’t bear the thought that the prophets had shown him a vision of him killing Lilia. The Kai was strict, yes, but she was fair and reasonable. She expected the best from people and took no nonsense from those who just wanted to cause trouble. Yuuri admired her greatly but was also too scared to talk to her in case he messed up. He needed to tell someone, but there didn’t seem to be an easy way out. _Oh, by the way Lilia, the prophets have told me that I’m going to stab you. Is that okay?_ He slashed at the thick vine in frustration.

A quiet cough interrupted his thoughts. He was catching his breath after a particularly aggressive bout of hacking at the thick strangling stems. Looking behind he saw Victor standing on the path nearby. Yuuri could feel his cheeks redden even under his already glowing skin from the exercise. After the first part of the vision, where Victor and he had obviously become lovers in the future; the mere presence of Victor was enough to transform Yuuri into a stuttering mess. His long-standing attraction to the Vedek had not decreased. In fact, the more Yuuri interacted with Victor, the more he liked him, but how could he tell Victor anything with the rest of the vision hanging over him like a doom-laden cloud?

“Hi, Yuuri!” Victor began with a cheerful voice and a wave. “Hana told me I would find you out here. You look...hot.” Was that a tint of colour Yuuri could see in Victor’s cheeks?

“I mean you look as if you feel hot.” Victor coughed. “I wanted to propose a trip to Deep Space Nine to you.”

When he didn’t answer Victor went on blithely, “It would do you good to get out of the monastery. I see it as an important part of your recovery Yuuri. You’ve been more reclusive than before ever since I showed you the orb.” Victor raised a finger to his lips as he stared at Yuuri in what Yuuri took to be disapproval.

“I...I’m sorry.” Yuuri stumbled over his words yet again. He should tell Victor what he saw in the vision and just be done with it. He was suddenly conscious of the exhaustion permeating his muscles and his half-dressed state. He reached for the shirt he’d left hanging on a branch and used it to wipe his face. He self-consciously clutched it in front of his chest in an attempt to cover himself a little. Was that a flicker of disappointment he saw in Victor’s face or was that just wishful thinking? “I need to wash. Can I talk to you after I’ve cleaned up and changed?” His voice came out shakier than he would have liked.

“That’s fine Yuuri,” Victor continued cheerfully. “Come and meet me in my study when you’re done.” Victor smiled and his hand twitched at his side as if he wanted to gesture, but then he turned and walked away.

Yuuri gathered the tools and the debris not wanting to create work for anyone having to clean up the garden. Hana was always complaining to Yuuri that he was too ruthless with the plants, but as far as Yuuri could see there was a big difference between a garden and a jungle. He wasn’t surprised that she had known where he was and told Victor. She tended to keep a paranoid eye on Yuuri’s whereabouts. Maybe a break away on Deep Space Nine would actually help?

He wandered back to his room in the monastery still deep in thought. He couldn’t remember much about the station from when he passed through after they rescued him. At the time, his brain was struggling to cope with the reality of freedom and the station was too Cardassian for him to want to spend any time there. The grey metal walls and style of the whole thing reeked of those grey skinned monsters. Yuuri shuddered, but maybe the Federation had improved things? Redecorated at least. It would be virtually impossible to make it any worse. He had heard many rumours about the Federation Commander Benjamin Sisko in his time recovering at the monastery. Most of the rumours were good, and people spoke highly of his fairness and skill at running the station. Some people even said he was the Emissary of the Prophets. They said he had spoken with the Prophets in a journey through the wormhole, but Yuuri found that difficult to believe.

Absentmindedly putting his dirty clothes to one side, he walked into the shower still deep in thought. Yuuri had found it hard to believe in the prophets at all during the occupation and he was reluctant to admit that if he believed that the Commander had spoken with the prophets, then the prophets must be real. Although he acknowledged that his terror of the vision he had seen in the orb was completely contradictory to his attempts to disbelieve. If he didn’t believe, then why was he so scared of a vision? He paused his circulating thoughts as he rinsed the soap out of his hair, rejoicing in the feeling of the hot water and being clean; even after all these months. He thought he would never get used to it.

~

Victor carefully prepared the tea for Yuuri’s arrival, fussing about the placement of the teapot and cups on the table in his study. The suggestion that Yuuri should accompany him on his regular monthly visit to the station was a spur of the moment thing, but as soon as Victor had thought of the idea he knew it would be a perfect next step. If Yuuri was willing. Unless something went wrong, It would hopefully aid his recovery and would also be a distraction from whatever Yuuri had seen in his vision from the Orb.

He could introduce Yuuri to Phichit Chulanont, the Bajoran trainee of the Federation Doctor. Phichit was one of the kindest, most loving people Victor had met and also the bounciest. Yuuri needed to gain some friends outside the monastery; it would also help him settle into life after he had left. Those who were left of his old comrades in the resistance were not going to be of much help with Yuuri’s recovery, most of them had also needed a lot of help to recover from their own traumas.

A knock at the door disturbed his train of thought and when he called for the person to enter Yuuri stepped in, his hair messy after the shower. Victor thought he looked adorable and was embarrassed to discover he was smiling stupidly at the tousled man. Victor coughed and turned to the low table where the teapot was sitting.

“I took the liberty of preparing some Deka tea. I know you like it.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri moved to one of the comfortable chairs placed around the table and sat down. He looked around at the room and then up at Victor saying simply, “I’ve been thinking, and I agree about the trip. It would be a good idea for me to get out of here for a while. When do we leave?”

Victor was taken aback by Yuuri’s positive response and his hand shook slightly as he poured the tea. He had prepared an argument to try to persuade Yuuri to go and Yuuri’s enthusiasm had taken him by surprise. “I...It’s my monthly visit to the Bajorans working on the station and their families. We take it in turns to see to their spiritual needs.”

Victor passed Yuuri his cup and sat down next to him. “There’s someone I met who I think you’ll get along well with. He’s the Bajoran assistant to the Federation Doctor on the station, Phichit Chulanont.”

Yuuri choked on his tea. “An assistant to the doctor?”

Victor frowned; he wasn’t sure what was wrong. “Is there a problem Yuuri?”

Yuuri looked down into his teacup and gave a small smile, which then grew into a grin that could blot out the sun in its brilliance when he looked back up at Victor. “Phichit was my best friend for years. He lived in our village and did his best at treating the injuries in the resistance.” Yuuri’s grin faded.

“He’d been away at another encampment for weeks when the raid went wrong and we were captured.” Yuuri’s mouth twisted and his shoulders hunched. Victor wondered if he needed comfort, but soon Yuuri started smiling again. “It’s going to be so good to see him again.”

Victor watched Yuuri go through another emotional swing, “What have you thought of now?” He asked in the softest tone he could manage.

“He hasn’t contacted me. If my rescue was such public knowledge, why didn’t he try to contact me?” Yuuri paused and then continued. “I don’t blame him. It was my fault the raid went wrong. It was my fault they all died.” Yuuri crumpled in on himself and Victor stretched his hand out to touch Yuuri.

“Before you despair, let me check something.” He threw Yuuri a concerned look, got up and quickly retrieved his pad from his desk. Sitting back down he tapped a few times and sat back, satisfied. He tapped Yuuri on the knee again. “You may not have realised, Yuuri, but we blocked all communications from people asking to speak with you.”

Yuuri looked up, a shocked expression on his face, which rapidly grew into annoyance.

“You needed time to heal and you couldn’t get that with everyone on the planet clamouring to get your attention. There were a lot of people wanting to speak with you. We didn’t know who we could trust and many people were claiming to be your family or your best friend. Phichit is here on the list of those trying to contact you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” Yuuri demanded. Victor could see that his knuckles were white on his cup.

“I’m so sorry, you were recovering so well and then the Orb showed you an obviously horrific vision. I...I wasn’t sure when it would be right to mention this to you. I should have told you weeks ago. I apologise.” Victor looked steadily at Yuuri, who sat back slowly.

“Can I...can I see the messages.”

Victor handed his pad over without a word.

Yuuri spent some time reading through the messages and Victor watched his face change from being upset, to being content, to smiling and then Yuuri gave a chuckle. Victor relaxed, happy to wait until Yuuri had finished reading.

“Thank you, Victor,” Yuuri said softly when he stopped reading and put the pad down. He smiled up at Victor, “I need some time to send a message back telling Phichit I’m coming to the station. Do you mind.”

As much as Victor didn’t want to let Yuuri go he replied, “Of course Yuuri. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After Yuuri had left, still clutching Victor’s pad, Victor sighed and rested his head on his hands. Yet another mistake, maybe he wasn’t cut out for this after all. All he ever seemed to make were mistakes when it came to Katsuki Yuuri.

~

As soon as they arrived at the station people besieged them. The crowd begging for attention surrounded Victor and separated him from Yuuri. And although Yuuri tried to blend into the background with a hooded jacket, he was immediately recognised.

They gathered around Yuuri as well, clamouring for his attention. Attention that he wasn’t prepared for and didn’t know how to handle. He could feel himself shrinking away from contact and his fists clenched as the panic began to rise. He couldn’t even seem to get his mouth to work to tell them all to back away until he heard a familiar voice shouting.

“Make way, make way doctor coming through! Let me through or you’ll need a doctor!” Phichit pushed his way to Yuuri though various yelps of pain from the people he shoved to one side.

“Phichit!” Yuuri stood and stared at the friend he hadn’t seen in five long years. Phichit’s face had a huge grin on it and he stood before Yuuri, taking him in completely before grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. Yuuri’s D’ja Pagh chimed faintly with each shake.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” He interspersed each word with a small shake and then looked around at the crowd contemptuously and shook his head. “Anyway, let’s get you away from all these morons, I brought Odo with me when Victor warned me there might be problems.” Phichit looked to one side where a stern-faced outworlder was shooing people away.

“Mr Katsuki has only just arrived on the station, please give him some time and space. You can meet him later at the temple after he’s had time to look around.” Odo said loudly, interrupting the chatter of the crowd and nodding at Yuuri when he saw him looking.

With Odo’s help, the scrum of people was finally cleared away. Victor had skillfully reassured people that he would be at the temple very shortly and would speak to them there. He came up to Yuuri, his eyes full of concern. “Are you alright Yuuri? I wondered if people would find out and asked Constable Odo to come with Phichit in case there was a problem, but I never expected this many people to be here.”

Yuuri swallowed through a tight throat, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be alright in a minute. That was un...unexpected–” Yuuri stopped talking, worried that he was going to cry, the caring tone in Victor’s voice wasn’t something he was used to. He had had to be strong for so many years for others. To have someone caring for him this deeply was a shock. But he hadn’t cried in five years under the Cardassians, he wasn’t going to start now.

Victor’s hand massaged his shoulder gently and then he pulled Yuuri in for a hug. “I’m sorry.”

Yuuri froze in surprise. Victor had always been someone who was constantly touching other people. Yuuri quite liked it in the monastery; Victor’s touch grounded him and calmed him, but here? There were still a lot of people around and Yuuri wasn’t sure he could deal with any more attention. “Victor? I’m alright, you can let go.”

Victor released Yuuri and Phichit coughed slightly, looking at Yuuri with one raised eyebrow.

“Why don’t Yuuri and I go to my quarters? We can catch up in some peace and quiet.” Phichit suggested.

Yuuri looked at Victor who still had one hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Do you mind?”

Victor smiled, “Why should I mind? I have my work to do and you could definitely do with time away from the crowds. I’ll see you at the temple later when you’ve had a chance to catch up and look around the station. I know you’re in good hands with Phichit.”

“Come on then.” Phichit bounced on the balls of his feet and pointed down the corridor. “It’s this way.”

Yuuri looked back at Victor who was watching them go with a faint smile and waved before turning his full attention to Phichit.

“So how did you end up here?” Yuuri asked.

“Well, you know I always did my best to heal people, but I never felt that that was good enough. So when the Federation came and I heard about the Doctor on board the space station I just had to see what more I could learn. I mean, they’re behind us in a few things but way ahead in others. Dr Bashir is amazing…”

Yuuri found himself tuning out slightly as Phichit rambled on about the knowledge he’d gained. He hid a smile at the slight hero worship in Phichit’s voice when he talked about the Federation Doctor. Yuuri just enjoyed the sensation of being with his best friend again and hearing how happy he was.

“Ta-Da! We’re here!” The door to Phichit’s quarters opened and Yuuri looked curiously inside. A chorus of squeaks greeted Phichit’s voice and he quickly moved over to a large cage on the far wall. “Daddy’s home! Here you are my babies, treats!”

Yuuri shook his head. Phichit certainly hadn’t changed. “How many have you got now?” He asked.

“Three; Yuri who’s the grumpy one,” Phichit pointed at pale-furred Hyurin, “Lilia who’s all saintly and never does anything wrong, and–” He opened the cage and encouraged a black furred one out onto his hand, “this one’s Arthur.”

“Arthur? What sort of name is Arthur? And you named the rest after the traits of people you know.” Yuuri couldn’t help laughing, that was such a Phichit thing to do.

“Arthur is a name from a holosuite program that Julian brought from Earth. It’s so good Yuuri; you’ve got to try it. Did you ever go ice-skating?” Arthur chirred as Phichit tickled him by the ear.

“Ice-whating?” Yuuri looked at Phichit with one eyebrow raised.

“Ice-skating, you have boots with blades and you dance on ice.” Phichit took Yuuri’s hand and deposited Arthur into it. It was lucky that Yuuri knew Phichit so well that he half expected that to happen and didn’t drop the Hyurin.

“Sounds dangerous.” He lifted Arthur up to eye level. “Hello Arthur.”

“It’s brilliant, I’ve got to take you some time. This program - _The King and the Skater_ is just so amazing. Do you want a drink?” Phichit asked.

“Mmm, Deka tea if you can replicate it.”

“It was one of the first things I programmed in.” Phichit waved a hand at the comfortable looking sofa in his living area, “Take a seat and I’ll get you some as well as something for you to feed Arthur.”

They talked and talked. Yuuri put Arthur in his lap and fed him titbits while they talked, but after an hour Phichit looked at his watch and made Yuuri face reality.

“Come on. You’ve hidden away enough. I’ll come with you to the temple to face your adoring fans.” Phichit grinned when Yuuri made a face. “Just say hello and let them shake hands. Once their curiosity is satisfied they’ll lose interest and leave you alone. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to intervene if anyone gets too much and then I’ll drop you off in a nice quiet corner of Quark’s bar and you can wait there until Victor’s finished. He’s really popular; he’ll be busy most of the day.

~

“Oi, Pig!”

Yuuri jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder. “Who me?” He squeaked, breathing rapidly from the shock.

“Yes, you. I don’t see why I should have to put up with you hanging around here. This space station isn’t big enough for two Yuris. Why don’t you just go back home and get out of my face–”

“Hey!” Phichit interrupted, putting a hand out and pushing the blonde haired young man away from spitting in Yuuri’s face. “That’s enough Yuri! Leave it.”

Yuuri’s eyes were wide with shock. The young man who was confronting them was the spitting image of Plisetsky Natalya. He also seemed to have inherited her spitfire temper. Yuuri couldn’t help smiling sadly at the memory of the wonderful woman who had looked after them all. Unfortunately, his smile just seemed to enrage Yuri further. Yuuri quickly removed his own smile and spoke.

“You’re Natalya and Pyotr’s son. Your parents were heroes and we all miss them. I’m sorry I couldn’t save them.”

“You’re sorry! Sorry! That’s not enough.” Yuri made as if to jump forward once again towards Yuuri.

Phichit firmly took the young man by the shoulders and lead him off a way still spluttering. He glanced back at Yuuri and spoke quietly to Yuri until the fire died a little in his eyes and he looked at the floor.

Yuri walked back over to where Yuuri was standing uncomfortably and narrowed his eyes as he spat words into Yuuri’s face. “I’ll see you later.” Yuuri swallowed nervously as the young man stalked off.

“Ah, yes.” Phichit grinned. “So that was our Major Plisetsky. Quite the spitfire isn’t he.”

“Y...Yes. Why did he say he’d see me later?” Yuuri watched Plisetsky Yuri walk away nervously.

“I told him we’d be at Quark’s bar and if he was civil he could come and talk to you.” Phichit patted Yuuri on the shoulder.

“You did? Will he be civil?”

Phichit looked at the blonde who was now berating some children who were messing around on the promenade. “I think so?”

“What did you tell him?”

“Some of what you’ve been through,” Phichit held up a hand. “No details, just enough to make him realise that it wasn’t all luxury for you.”

Yuuri stood in thought for a minute not quite happy with what Phichit had done but recognising the need. “I suppose I do owe him the story of what happened to his parents.”

“Yuuri!” Phichit groaned and took Yuuri by the arm pulling him towards the temple. “You don’t owe anybody anything. You don’t owe him an explanation unless _you_ want to give him one. Right let’s get this over with and then I don’t know about you, but I’ll need a drink!”

Yuuri wasn’t sure that he was ready to face people clamouring for his attention after that encounter. He was still a little shaken, but then he realised that he wasn’t likely to meet anyone with a bigger grudge so nothing could be as bad.

Or could it. Someone spotted him as soon as he eased his hood off his head when they entered the rooms off the promenade reserved to make a Bajoran temple. He hadn’t even begun to look for Victor.

“Yuuri Katsuki!” It was almost a shout, and this person, who Yuuri had never seen before in his life came rushing over, the red streak in their blonde hair bouncing excitedly with their movements. Yuuri stood still, slightly stunned.

Phichit stepped forward. “Hello, Minami. Nice to see you, but you don’t have to shout.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just so happy to finally meet you. You saved my father’s life in Relliketh! I’m forever grateful. Thank you! You’re my hero.” The gushing subsided and Minami waited for Yuuri to say something.

Yuuri grinned nervously, “Er, I…don’t know what to say. I...thank you?”

“Oh! You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to tell you!” Minami stood silently for a bit gazing at Yuuri like he was some sort of painting until Phichit snorted quietly and patted him on the shoulder. “Let other people speak to Yuuri for a bit Minami.”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Bye Yuuri!” Minami backed away still staring at Yuuri the whole time with big round eyes. When Yuuri glanced at Phichit he saw that his friend was biting his lip trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. The whole interlude made Yuuri feel better and he turned to face the rest of the people with a lot less trepidation. Soon Yuuri was receiving thanks and praise from all around. He found that although he would never come to like this sort of thing permanently, it wasn’t as bad as he had been expecting. A calm voice finally interrupted the last rather obnoxious person, who was beginning to ask all sorts of invasive questions.

“Yuuri, you’re here!” Victor interposed himself between Yuuri and the boor, “I just need to talk to Yuuri for a little bit if you’ll excuse us.” He led Yuuri off to one side with his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, winking at Phichit who grimaced slightly at being left behind to cope with the one Bajoran on the station who was renowned for not taking a hint.

“Are you alright? How are you coping?” Victor sounded worried.

“It’s both better and worse than I thought it would be. I’m not sure if I’d have coped if it weren’t for Phichit. What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, nothing.” Victor gave a big grin and winked, “I know that person quite well and knew that you would need rescuing because you’re too nice to tell people to go away.”

Yuuri coughed as he laughed and looking over at Phichit noticed that the inquisitive stranger had gone.

“Unfortunately, I have to get back to my duties, I’ll see you shortly Yuuri.” Victor looked like he wanted to say more, but Phichit came over to stand next to Yuuri.

“Hi, Victor! I’m just going to drag our hero Yuuri here off to Quark’s to recover with a stiff drink until you’ve finished for the day. We’ll see you later.” Phichit winked and hooked his arm around Yuuri’s, pulling him away from Victor.

Yuuri raised a hand, wanting to show Victor how much he wanted to stay, but ended up giving a little wave instead as he followed Phichit out of the temple.

~

Yuuri heaved a sigh as they stepped out of the temple and put his hood back on. They made their way towards a loud and lively set of rooms off the promenade. He felt emotionally drained and hoped that he had met all of the people who wanted to talk to him. Phichit reassured him that they’d ask for a quiet table at the back.

“The owner is a Ferengi, don’t fall for any of his schemes.” Phichit laughed.

“I’ve had dealings with Quark before, Phichit. I know what he’s like.” Yuuri said with a wry smile.

“You have? Oh! Yeah, I was too caught up with the medical stuff to worry about where the supplies came from during the occupation.” Phichit said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Despite his constant greed and desperation to be a big player he has a heart somewhere inside,” Yuuri said. “He did a lot for us, even though we never trusted him.”

A beautiful Bajoran woman greeted them when they arrived at the bar and showed them to some quiet seats in the back.

“Hello, Phichit. Quark will be delighted to see you both again.” She said and took their orders to the bar.

Yuuri tried to ignore the occasional glances that Quark was throwing his way. He didn’t really want to reminisce about the ‘fun times’. Quark may have had fun, but Yuuri only had painful memories of those days. He also didn’t want to get roped into any schemes Quark may have in mind to add to his pile of Latinum or to curry favour with the Grand Negus. Eventually, though Quark couldn’t resist the sight of Yuuri sitting in his bar any longer and came sidling up to the table. He carried a tray with three drinks on it, placing one down in front of Yuuri before pulling out the other seat and sitting down.

“Well, if it isn’t Katsuki Yuuri and Doctor Chulanont. What brings you to my humble bar?” Quark grinned toothily at Yuuri.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “Nice to see you too, Quark. I see you’re doing well in peacetime.”

“Not bad, not bad. Could be better. Speaking of which, have a drink, it’s on the house.” Quark raised his glass to his smirking face.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Yuuri played with his drink instead of downing it.

“Me? Why would I do something like that?” Quark tried to look innocent and then gave up and winked, “I’ve still got the pole set up.” His face took on a dreamy expression. “That was such a good night.” He glanced at Phichit, who quirked an eyebrow at the Ferengi.

“Your friend here was in the middle of a deal with some Arcian smugglers for medical equipment when it looked like the Cardassians were onto him.” Quark winked at Yuuri who groaned and let his head fall onto the table.

“So,” Quark continued. “Katsuki here downs his drink in one go, strips off his shirt and climbs the pole I’d brought in for exotic dancers. Well, you should have seen the look on those Cardassian officer’s faces,” Quark chuckled, “that was quite a show.” He was about to say more when a seat was pulled out angrily beside Yuuri and Major Yuri Plisetsky sat down.

“I’ll have an Aldebaran whisky Quark.”

“Of course, Major. Anything else I can get you, gentlemen.” They shook their heads and Quark went to get Yuri’s drink.

“He was suddenly polite...and gone,” Yuuri said, watching the way Yuri glared at Quark’s retreating back.

“I don’t like him. He’s a criminal, I’ve just never managed to pin anything on him, nor has Odo.” Yuri turned to then glare at Yuuri and Phichit.

“Ah, er...hello again,” Yuuri said. Something about Yuri Plisetsky seemed to bring out the worst of his nerves.

“I suppose I owe you an apology.” Yuri’s face was still angry as he said that and Yuuri wondered if angry was his default state.

“I owe you one too.” Yuuri said softly.

“Rubbish. It wasn’t your fault they got themselves killed. My Grandfather used to tell me stories of how stubborn and pigheaded they were. He complained I’d inherited that trait too when I was being a difficult teenager. Anyway, we’re on the same side and shouldn’t fight. Let’s be friends.” Yuri held his hand across the table for Yuuri to shake. Phichit nearly spat out his drink, and it was a few seconds before Yuuri could break out of his amazed stare, close his mouth and reach over to return the gesture.

Phichit laughed, and then startled as the computer informed him he was needed in sickbay. “Oh damn, got to go.” He quickly hugged Yuuri, “Keep in touch yeah, I want to hear from you every day.”

Yuuri hugged Phichit back hard and tried not to get emotional, after all Major Plisetsky was sitting there in judgement. “I will.” He managed through a tight throat.

As Phichit left, Quark bustled back over to the table with Yuri’s drink and a second glass on the tray. “Another drink for the two heroes - on the house!”

“I’m really not in the mood Quark, but thanks for the offer.” The disappointed Ferengi shrugged and downed Yuuri’s drink himself, before going back to the bar and wistfully reminiscing to his brother about that profitable night.

“He’s incorrigible.” Yuuri commented.

“Totally.” Yuri replied dryly.

“Katsuki Yuuri?”

A cheerful but quiet voice interrupted them and he looked around to find a young man staring at him, his brown hair tied back in a half-ponytail and a smile all over his face. “Leo?” Yuuri’s jaw dropped, he hadn’t seen Leo for years. Today was proving to be one surprise after another. The last-time he had seen the young man was when the teenager had barely survived a Cardassian raid on his village and been rescued by Yuuri’s resistance cell. It was only a short time after, that Yuuri himself was captured and imprisoned.

“What are you doing here?” Yuuri asked.

“Oh...er! I’m meeting up with a t...trading partner. They’re interested in the artwork my village produces.” Leo coloured slightly as he hesitated over his reply. “But, I couldn’t help coming over when I saw you and...and I want to say thank you. If you hadn’t been there that day, my entire village would have been sent away to the mines. So...thank you.”

Yuuri didn’t know how to respond, he had only been doing his job. He had only been trying to protect people; he couldn’t sit back and let his planet and culture be destroyed by those grey skinned monsters. The pain in his thigh from his fingernails digging into the material of his trousers stopped his train of thought and he coloured in embarrassment. “I…” he cleared his throat. “It was only what we had to do, Leo. I’m just glad I could do something.” He smiled weakly at Leo. “Maybe we can talk another time, when you’re less busy?”

Leo smiled and it was like the sun rising, “That would be great! I’m so glad I met you.” The younger man wandered off and Yuuri shoulders relaxed. He noticed Yuri regarding him thoughtfully.

“You’re different to how I thought you’d be.”

“Oh? In what way?”

“I expected you to boast and strut around showing off your achievements, but you really don’t like the attention do you.”

“No, I guess not.” Yuuri smiled, “I’m glad we got things cleared up between us. Do you mind if I go for a walk around. I’m just not used to so many people and I could do with somewhere quieter for a while.”

“Go ahead. I’ll see you around.”

Yuuri stood and left the bar, pulling his hood up once again. He felt unsettled and on edge, but he didn’t know why. There was still a while to go before Victor would be finished, so he found a quiet corner on the upper deck of the promenade. He leaned against the wall as he watched the people go past below.

He knew that it would take time for him to be completely comfortable around other people, but he hadn’t expected that he would have acquired so much notoriety. He was relieved that they had waited so long to try a trip like this, because even now it was hard. Yuuri felt rude abandoning Yuri Plisetsky like that but he knew he was at his limit.

He thought back to when the people from Deep Space Nine had rescued him from the camp the Cardassians claimed didn’t exist. He remembered now that he had met Yuri before. When Major Plisetsky found out his name he was furious and refused to talk or look at him for the whole journey. Yuuri, at the time, had been too broken and dazed to really register anything. Too lost in self-blame and hurt to wonder why the only Bajoran in the rescue team wouldn’t talk to him. Yuuri couldn’t even respond to anything the cheerful curly haired Federation Officer said. 

Yuuri stiffened as the tall grey figure of a Cardassian strutted past on the deck below. His hands clenched into fists as he thought of what he would like to do to that smug face. Positive that a Cardassian could not be up to anything good, Yuuri pulled his hood down further and slipped from his corner. He trailed casually after the man, pretending to examine the windows of the shops on his way. The Cardassian wasn’t hurrying and didn’t seem to be bothered about anything going on around him. Yuuri followed them to an out of the way docking area in the outer ring, pausing when he heard voices. It took him a few seconds to tune into what they were saying, but he recognised one voice straight away.

What on Bajor was Leo doing talking to a Cardassian? Was this the trading partner Leo had been talking about? No wonder he hesitated over his words when he told Yuuri the reason he was on the station. Yuuri heard a few words about talking about evidence of collaboration in exchange for something. He decided he had heard enough and didn’t want to be caught lurking so he quietly made his way back to the promenade and hoped that Victor had finished with his duties for the time being. He had had enough and needed to get back to the sanctuary of the monastery.

~

It took him longer than he thought it would to recover from the trip to Deep Space Nine. His brain had reacted badly to the onslaught of people and information, and he had fallen asleep in Victor’s arms on the way back to the station. Yuuri was mortified to think that he had probably drooled all over the Vedek. He did, though, keep his promise to Phichit to send him a message every day. Phichit usually replied with pictures of his three Hyurin and silly comments about his day.

Yuuri now rarely woke in the mornings with a screaming nightmare. More often it was with a soft gasp as the vision from the Orb came back to him and then he would curl into a ball trying to pretend that he had never seen Lilia dying in front of him or felt his hands covered in her blood. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t ever murder the Kai. Then there was that Cardassian on the station. What _was_ he doing talking to Leo?

Trying to shake himself out of the whirlwind of his thoughts Yuuri thought that exercise would be the best cure. He went to pull on his running gear.

It had been hard at first to go running through the gardens. Running was not something Yuuri associated with pleasurable activities. More used to running to get away from Cardassians, but Victor had persuaded him, and Victor could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. The first time Yuuri saw the Vedek in running gear, ready to accompany Yuuri on his first jog through the grounds, he nearly swallowed his tongue. He hoped his rapid assessment of Victor’s body wasn’t too obvious, but unfortunately he couldn’t do anything about the telltale blush on his face. Victor had just grinned at Yuuri and asked if he was ready. Yuuri had to pull his mind back from the gutter and shakily said that he was. He hoped that Victor took his hesitation as nervousness because he came up to Yuuri and patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it once we get started. Don’t worry I’ll start you off gently and we can go from there.”

That had stung Yuuri’s pride and he chuckled remembering how, even on that first run he had managed to out pace Victor. The Vedek was left gasping by the end in admiration of Yuuri’s stamina.

Victor had put his hands on his knees and panted. “You’re that much younger than me Yuuri and it shows. Your stamina is amazing!”

Yuuri couldn’t help himself. The Vedek’s silver hair had fascinated Yuuri for years and when Victor was bending down in front of him rambling on, he pressed his finger to the top of Victor’s head to stop him talking. He immediately died in embarrassment when he realised what he’d done.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

But Victor was reaching up to touch the place where Yuuri had rested his finger and Yuuri could only look on in horror.

“Is it really getting thin?” Victor asked plaintively.

“No! No...everything’s fine.” Yuuri reached out, waving his hands in the air, not knowing what to do. Why did he do that?

“I’m hurt...I may never recover.” Victor sagged onto the ground.

Yuuri froze in shock, this wasn’t meant to happen! He never thought Victor would be so upset by a casual touch. Yuuri sank to his knees in horror. “Victor! I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Please get up.”

Yuuri didn’t know what to do to make things right again and was beginning to frantically look around for any sort of inspiration when he heard a low chuckle. Immediately the sense of panic deflated and he sagged back on his heels. “Victor!”

Victor rolled over now laughing fully. Yuuri smiled. He couldn’t remember seeing Victor this relaxed in all the time he had been at the monastery. Their friendship was sealed from that moment on. Yuuri would never try to be more than a friend to Victor. After all, how could an important, beautiful man like Victor want anything more from Yuuri, just plain ordinary Yuuri. It was such a shame that Yuuri realised that he had fallen in love with Victor at the same moment they became friends.

After that, they had decided to let Yuuri improve on his stamina by himself. Victor felt that he was more suited to shorter faster distances. Yuuri enjoyed his daily runs now and went further and further every time, rejoicing in the way his body was recovering and growing stronger. The route he chose today was his longest yet weaving out of the gardens themselves and into the hills beyond. It would be challenging, but he knew he could do it.

~

Half way round a light drizzle started and he pressed the button on his outfit to repel the water. Of course his clothes wouldn’t get wet, but they hadn’t invented the same technology for his hair yet and he had to stop to shake the wet hair out of his face and wipe himself off several times. It was refreshing at least.

The rain finally finished and he stopped to shake the last of the water from his hair. He was trying to dry off in the sunny shelter of a large rock when he heard voices. Panicking, he slipped around the side of the rock into the undergrowth before quietly laughing to himself, what was he doing? It wasn’t the bad old days anymore; no one was going to arrest Yuuri for jogging. He was about to brave the embarrassment of them assuming that he had been relieving himself in the bushes when he overheard what they were saying.

“–proves that she was involved. She was nothing more than a filthy collaborator. She deserves to die.”

Yuuri froze. That was Leo’s voice. Yuuri had never heard such a poisonous tone from the happy go lucky young man before and who did they think deserved to die? It was a dreadful thing, to be labelled as a collaborator, but even Yuuri knew that some were forced into it or tricked into it and felt they had no way out. Not all situations were black and white. He needed to know more so he stayed still, blending into the background as he’d done so many times in the past, and listened.

“So you’re saying that he gave this to you? That doesn’t sound very Cardassian to me.” Another voice spoke up and Yuuri jolted again, the voice belonged to Guang-Hong, another friend from his days in the resistance. What were they planning?

“He didn’t just give this so me. I had to jump through so many damn hoops and in the end Quark, that Ferengi on the station, helped me out. Read it!”

“Getting worked up won’t help. We should stay calm and consider this thoroughly. Also, you let Quark have a hold over you, that wasn’t wise Leo.” The third voice was not so familiar to Yuuri, but he knew it from the Bajoran News Service. Seung-Gil Lee was a fairly minor politician in the government ministry, known for his lack of emotion, practical approach to problems and his refusal to talk to journalists. The nastier commentators questioned his Bajoran heritage, wondering if he was part Vulcan, because the most Seung-Gil Lee had ever given a journalist was a haughty look of contempt.

“He doesn’t have a hold over me, he got me the contact and I gave him something he wanted in return.” Leo said indignantly.

Seung-Gil just hummed sceptically.

“This stacks up Leo, I mean it’s all there. Times dates and corroboration with the events reported at the time.” Guang-Hong said sadly.

“Hmm, yes. I would like to examine this further, may I take it with me?” Seung-Gil almost sounded bored.

“If you must. We’ve got to do something about this though. We can’t let someone like the Kai get away with being a collaborator. The evidence here shows that she caused the deaths of 40 members of the resistance including her own son and husband!” Leo’s voice quavered.

There was silence for a while and then Guang-Hong spoke. “What can we do though?”

“If I am satisfied that this is true then I will bring it before the Council of Ministers and the Vedek Assembly, we will have justice.” A politician through and through, Seung-Gil’s voice rang with conviction. Yuuri rolled his eyes.

“Justice isn’t good enough for me. I want revenge. That was my village she betrayed. My people she caused the deaths of. My family!” Yuuri heard sobs and leaned back against the rock closing his eyes in grief. He had managed to save Leo and a handful of others but the rest of the village had been rounded up by the Cardassians and had never been heard from again. He tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear the last part.

“She will pay for what she’s done. Lilia Baranovskaya will not live to see the end of this year. I swear it.” Guang-Hong’s voice was muffled as if he was hugging Leo.

Yuuri heard and swallowed hard. What if...what if the vision wasn’t about him killing Lilia after all, or what if it was! After all, if Lilia was responsible then Yuuri...no. No. There was nothing that could make Yuuri commit one more murder. Nothing.


	3. A less than satisfactory ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> _(read the tags)_
> 
>  
> 
> ;)

Before the visit to the station, Victor had been worrying about Yuuri overworking himself in the gardens and with the extensive runs he was doing. It was a kind of transference, healthy with respect to the exercise, but Victor knew he had to watch out that Yuuri wasn’t burying his worries and letting them fester.

Yuuri had been getting better all the time, and had even talked about visiting his old home village; something that he had avoided mentioning in the past. Everyone knew that the Katsukis had been some of the first victims of the Cardassian occupation; a wonderful, hospitable family who were targeted because of Yuuri’s sister’s political views. Victor wasn’t quite sure what had happened, because even the Bajoran News Service hadn’t been able to dig up any details, even when Yuuri’s rescue was the most popular news item. He did know that after the disappearance of the Katsukis, Yuuri had become heavily involved in the resistance.

Yuuri had gone on to lead a major resistance cell at the tender age of 22, but only a year later had been betrayed and taken away from Bajor for trial. No one had heard anything about him after that, and people had assumed that the Cardassians had executed him. That was until the team from Deep Space Nine had found him in the labour camp on a backwater planet in a Cardassian controlled system.

After the trip to Deep Space Nine it became hard to ignore the backwards step that Yuuri seemed to be making. He knew that Yuuri wasn’t telling him something. Something that was bothering Yuuri to the point of distraction.

Victor wished that Yuuri would trust him enough to let him in. Nothing he seemed to do helped, even though he felt that they were closer than ever before. Victor eventually called Phichit and explained the problem.

“I know Yuuri talks to you every day. I’m not asking you to break his confidentiality, but I wondered if he’d told you anything?” Victor ran his hand through his fringe.

“No, he hasn’t mentioned anything, and the tone of his messages hasn’t changed recently.” Phichit looked thoughtful. “Which makes me think that something may have happened before he came out to the station?” Phichit sounded concerned. “Let me know if you need anything else from me Victor. I can come down there and try to talk some sense into him. He was always like this. He never wanted to burden anyone else with his problems, even when they were eating him up.”

Victor thanked Phichit and sat back. The Orb – it had to be the vision from the Orb that was disturbing Yuuri. How Victor wished that he had never shown it to Yuuri. Victor gazed at the holo of the celestial temple on the wall, wondering if he should ask for guidance from the Prophets himself by looking into the Orb.

He thought hard for a while before one idea occurred. If he organised a dinner together in the gardens one evening, then maybe Yuuri would be relaxed enough to talk to him. He sat forward smiling and pulled his pad towards him. Yes, that was perfect.

~

A few days later Victor said casually that he had been wondering if Yuuri would like to join him in a meal out in the gardens that evening. To his surprise, Yuuri’s cheeks coloured slightly and he agreed.

When Victor guided a strangely silent Yuuri to where the dinner was laid out, he had to admit that the setting was perfect. The sun was going down illuminating the table perfectly, it was an ideal opportunity to get Yuuri to tell him what was wrong.

“Victor, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” Yuuri said softly. Victor nearly dropped his glass. He never expected Yuuri to come straight out with it.

“You can talk to me about anything Yuuri. I hope you know by now that I would never judge your actions or thoughts.” Victor reached across and rested his hand on Yuuri’s. He couldn’t help these touches. He knew that Yuuri wasn’t particularly tactile but Victor felt drawn to the man in a way he had never been drawn to anyone before. His whole life had been given over to the service of the Prophets without thought at a young age. He spent his whole life doing what he believed he was meant to do and doing it to the best of his ability, he wasn’t sure if it was enough any more.

Yuuri turned his hand over and held Victor’s hand tightly. Victor’s eyes widened and looked at Yuuri. Instead of the fond gaze Victor hoped to see, he was shocked to see tears pouring from Yuuri’s eyes, and running down his cheeks.

~

Yuuri was virtually tearing his hair out in despair. At first he refused to admit that the vision could be telling him that he was to kill Lilia, so he didn’t tell Victor. Even after he found out the truth that day during the run, that the vision was warning him of an assassination attempt on Lilia; he still hadn’t found the right time to tell Victor. It seemed obvious to Yuuri that the ideal time to make an attempt was at the start of the Gratitude Festival, which was approaching rapidly. Lilia would be the first to publicly burn her Renewal Scroll. With the number of people invited to the opening ceremony at the monastery it would be an ideal opportunity. If Yuuri didn’t tell Victor within the next few days it would very well be too late to put anything in place to save her.

Every time Yuuri met Victor his emotions got the better of him and he couldn’t say anything. He desperately wanted to tell the Vedek, but could never find the right words. He needed to stop being a coward and just tell him.

Yuuri approached the evening dinner with Victor with his emotions at boiling point. He sat hugging his knees on his bed for most of the afternoon, wracked with nerves. The longer he had left the difficult conversation, the harder it got. Why was it so hard? Yuuri dug his fingers tightly into the material of his trousers and thought, _it’s because I love him and I don’t want him to be disappointed in me._ He needed to have faith that Victor wouldn’t reject Yuuri’s company and friendship when he told him. He needed to believe that the Vedek was as good a man as Yuuri knew he was. With that thought he pulled himself together as best he could and faced the evening.

The location was beautiful. Small lights illuminated the secluded viewpoint Victor had chosen for their meal, and the sun was setting in a blaze of pink and blue. Yuuri had been quiet the entire walk there, still struggling with how to broach the problem. Finally he said quietly, “Victor, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

When Victor’s hand rested on his, Yuuri grasped it hard for courage and looked across at Victor’s surprised expression.

“Yuuri! What’s the matter? Did something happen?”

“N...No...well yes, but it was…” Yuuri took a deep breath and wiped at his face with his free hand. “I’ve…” Yuuri paused again, and then words spilled from Yuuri’s mouth in a mad rush.  “Ever since you showed me the orb and I had the vision, I’ve needed to talk to you about it. But it was never the right time. I could never bring myself to tell you what I saw in the vision. It was too horrible, but I’ve heard...I overheard two conversations recently, and I realised that what I thought I saw in the vision may not be true. But I have no idea and I have to find out if I’m going mad.” He wiped at his eyes again, until he felt a cloth being pressed against his face gently. He opened his eyes and saw Victor kneeling in front of him holding a cloth to his face, looking at him with worry in his glorious blue eyes.

“Victor! Please get up.” Yuuri didn’t like to see the Vedek he had admired for years kneeling before him. If anything Yuuri should be kneeling before Victor, thanking him for all the care and attention he had given Yuuri over the last few months. He brought his hand up to take Victor’s and pull it away from his face, but as soon as Victor felt Yuuri’s hand on his he stilled and the movement became more like a caress. Victor’s eyes widened, and he snatched his hand away from Yuuri’s face, blushing and stammering an apology. Yuuri, the cause of his tears forgotten for the moment, lurched forward horrified that Victor ever thought he needed to apologise for anything. He ended up on his knees on the ground as well; hand on Victor’s shoulder.

“No, please you have nothing to apologise for. I...it’s me who should be apologising. I’m the one who’s occupied your time for the last few months. I should be stronger; I should be the one apologising to you. I’ve been taking you away from everything that’s important. I’m just one unimportant person who needs far too much help.” Yuuri sagged back on his heels staring down at the floor.

“Yuuri,” Victor crooned, and Yuuri felt fingers lifting his chin. He reluctantly met Victor’s gaze. “Yuuri, I don’t quite know how to start unpacking every incorrect thing you’ve just said, but none of my help has been given unwillingly. I enjoy your company. I...I enjoy your company far more than I should. Until you are well and have left the monastery I can’t say more, but please believe that I don’t spend time with you out of some sort of pity.” Victor’s face twisted unpleasantly, and he released Yuuri’s chin. Yuuri’s heart stung in sympathy.

They were so close. So close to touching, to kissing. Yuuri raised his face higher, trying to resist the urge to lunge forward and throw caution to the wind. Instead he brushed Victor’s fringe aside. “Thank you,” he whispered. “That means more to me than you can know, and it helps me tell you what I was worried about.”

Victor pulled himself to his feet and then offered a hand to Yuuri to pull him up too. Once they were both seated again Victor spoke. “Tell me, please. It’s very obvious something has been on your mind for weeks.”

Yuuri took a deep breath, “First I’ll tell you the vision I had from the orb and then I’ll tell you what’s happened since.

“The orb showed me...” Yuuri stumbled over relating the first part of his vision. After Victor’s almost confession, he felt as if this was something that might actually be within his grasp and it was worth reaching for. “In the vision we were in bed together, we were lovers.”

“Yuuri!” Victor gasped and nearly left his chair again, but Yuuri held up a hand.

“Wait...wait until I’ve finished.” Yuuri rubbed at his forehead. All he wanted was to shelter in Victor’s arms. Hadn’t he been through enough?

“I turned when I heard a noise and the Kai was in the doorway. Lilia said something like ‘you will know how to act’ and then it blurred and I was standing in a large hall with people milling all around. You were there and you...you said you loved me.” Yuuri was blushing furiously at these words but cleared his throat and continued. “Lilia was there, Phichit and Yuri Plisetsky and they all wandered past me and whispered different things.” Yuuri’s voice trailed off his eyes wide with horror. Victor waited patiently for Yuuri to continue.

“...the next thing I saw...Lilia was on the floor dead and my hands were covered in blood. There was a bloody knife on the floor next to us...I couldn’t Victor. I’ve had enough of death. I wouldn’t.” Yuuri realised that tears were pouring down his face and then he was enveloped in warmth and the smell of Victor pulled him out of his thoughts. He tentatively reached his arms out and around the man in front of him, taking comfort in the strength of Victor’s hold.

“There’s more,” Yuuri said.

Victor released him, taking his shoulders in a firm grip. “Tell me.”

“So, while you were busy on the station I met Leo, he was an old acquaintance from the resistance.”

“De Iglesias?”

“Yes, how do you know him?”

“Never mind, tell me what you want to and we can go through details later.”

“OK, so I met Leo, who was meeting a trading partner or so he said. A short while later I saw a Cardassian,’ Yuuri’s voice twisted with hatred, “he looked so...so smug that I followed him. He met with Leo and they exchanged something talking about evidence of collaboration.” I didn’t think much about it after that apart from hoping to see Leo and ask him what it was all about. I couldn’t imagine what would make Leo even be in the same building with a Cardassian, much less seek one out.” Yuuri took a deep breath, trying to keep calm, trying to tell a coherent story.

“So then I was running through the hills a couple of weeks ago near the village of H’erat and I heard voices coming along the path towards me, and I got nervous and ducked behind a large rock.” Yuuri looked at Victor shyly, expecting him to make a derogatory comment, but Victor just hummed in encouragement and nodded for him to continue. “They stopped where I was hiding,” Yuuri smiled ruefully, “I’m just lucky like that I guess. It was Leo, Guang-Hong Ji and Seung-Gil Lee. They talked about the evidence and said that it showed that Lilia, the Kai, was responsible for the deaths of 40 people, a whole cell in the resistance. Seung-Gil wanted to take the evidence away to examine it, but Leo was so upset that Guang-Hong vowed to kill Lilia before the year was up.”

Victor’s face took on a deadly serious look. “The hall you were standing in in the vision, was it highly decorated or fairly plain? Were the walls dark red?”

Yuuri knew what Victor was getting at. Every year the starting ceremony of the annual Gratitude festival was held in the great hall in the monastery itself, plainly decorated and with walls painted a deep red.

“The walls were red and it was plain. It was the great hall here wasn’t it?”

“I believe you are destined to play a part in Bajor’s future again Yuuri. It appears that the Prophets have not finished with you yet.”

“I never wanted this Victor. I never wanted to become some sort of hero. Why me?”

Victor thought for a moment, one finger on his lips and spoke before Yuuri could say anything else. “I believe that the Orb showed you the worst possible outcome, it is not necessarily what will happen, but what could happen if you ignore the vision you were shown.

“I cannot begin to know the will of the Prophets Yuuri, but take comfort that you are the one who has the opportunity to do something about this. Be honest with yourself, who else would you trust to tackle this?”

Yuuri looked at Victor in surprise. He hadn’t thought of it that way. He gaped like a fish for a while and sat back in his chair. He put his head in his hands and laughed slightly hysterically until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and said, “I should have come to you right from the beginning. How many weeks is it since you showed me the Orb? I could have saved myself weeks of agonising and misery.”

“We can’t change what’s past Yuuri, but we may be able to alter the future. Come! We have plans to make, but first Lilia should know about this.” Victor stood up and held his hand out to Yuuri, who smiled and took it, allowing himself to be pulled up and away from the table.

~

Victor guided Yuuri back to the monastery building with his arm round Yuuri’s shoulders, wondering if he’d handled Yuuri’s confession correctly. He knew that he wasn’t good at comforting people. He had managed to learn, but someone breaking down in tears in front of him always made him freeze up. He had had many sessions with Lilia before she taught him enough to hide his confusion and deal with the distressed person’s problem enough to calm them down.

Yuuri ending up on his knees in front of Victor, telling him not to apologise was painful. Hearing the hero of Lonar province tell him how little self-worth felt he had was heartbreaking. Victor couldn’t allow this wonderful man to feel like this, but he knew that to deny Yuuri’s statement would only dig him deeper into self-denial. He pushed Yuuri’s chin up with his hand and only just managed to prevent giving Yuuri a statement of his love, turning into reassurance instead. Yuuri reached up and brushed aside Victor’s fringe, and oh, the self control Victor needed to resist grabbing Yuuri’s arm and kissing the pulse-point on his wrist. He forced himself to smile and stood up encouraging Yuuri back to his seat.

As Yuuri told him the rest of the vision and then the events afterwards Victor knew that the prophets had not finished with Katsuki Yuuri. They obviously had one more task in mind for him. Victor knew that they must seek out Lilia and demand to know why and how the Cardassians had managed to obtain this information.

~

Luckily Victor knew Lilia’s schedule and they were able to see her shortly after she returned from her regular meeting with the First Minister. She looked serious as she walked through the monastery entrance. Yuuri withdrew a little behind Victor, wanting to avoid the inevitable trouble his message would bring.

“Victor, you look like you want something.” Lilia said inclining her head towards the two men standing at the side of the entrance.

“May we have a word, your Eminence? The matter is important and urgent. We should probably speak in your office.” Victor gripped Yuuri’s hand firmly as he felt Yuuri try to slip further into his shadow.

“Of course, Victor. Please follow me.” Lilia gave a thin smile to Yuuri as they turned to walk to her office.

“You look troubled after your meeting,” Victor queried Lilia.

“Nothing for you to worry about Victor.” Lilia said briskly.

Yuuri looked at Victor who shrugged back and they both followed Lilia into the plain room she used as an office.

“I’m glad you see you are recovering well Katsuki Yuuri. What can I do for the two of you?” Lilia folded her hands on the desk in front of her and sat back in her chair.

Yuuri glanced at Victor again, who nodded. Yuuri took a deep breath and began recounting, first the vision and then the circumstances after. When he got to the meeting between Leo, Guang-Hong and Lee; Lilia frowned and sat forward. At the end she sat back and looked down.

“The prophets work in strange ways. I am sorry that you have had this extra worry Yuuri, the prophets have asked a lot of you and they may ask more.” Lilia paused and looked up at them both. “I cannot change any plans to do with the gratitude festival, but we have had forewarning thanks to Yuuri. I will see what can be done. Thank you for bringing this to me.”

Yuuri frowned down at his hands, Lilia hadn’t said anything about the accusation against her and whether it was true or not. He glanced at Victor and was about to open his mouth and ask when Victor’s hand gripped his knee and squeezed. Yuuri remembered who he was talking to. _What was he doing? How could he even think of questioning the Kai?_ He allowed his curiosity to die down, beating back the frustration.

“As to the matter of the accusation against me,” Lilia continued slowly.

Yuuri looked up quickly, his eyes wide. Victor’s hand on his knee gripped again, this time as if it was Victor wanting reassurance and Yuuri put his hand on Victor’s. He stole a glance at Victor and indeed, Victor’s eyes were wide as he looked seriously at Lilia.

She looked between them both before continuing. “I hope you understand that this should go no further than this room.”

They both nodded, not wanting to break the silence due to the seriousness of the situation.

“It was about 20 years ago. I’m sure you’ve both heard of the massacre at Musilla valley. At the time it was attributed to information given to the Cardassians by Elo Ashea who was later executed by the Cardassians.” Lilia’s stern voice faltered.

Yuuri remembered that her own son and husband had been killed in the massacre of the 40 members of the resistance cell living in the Musilla valley. At the time she had been a Vedek serving at the monastery and the Cardassians were doing their best to stamp out the Bajoran religion. The Kai at the time was in prison. The Cardassians had questioned her once they learned of her son and husband’s deaths in the resistance. But she claimed she knew nothing about it and had been estranged from her family for years, a claim they could not disprove.

“Ashea gave the information to the Cardassians on my orders. I not only have her death on my hands but that of my family and all those other people.” There were tears in her eyes by now.

Yuuri had become angrier and angrier at her story. He tried to remain silent by couldn’t and rasped out, “Why?” Lilia said nothing he demanded again. “Why did you do it? You must have had a reason.”

Lilia looked at him, her green eyes blazing. “The Cardassian Gul came to me and told me he knew about my family’s involvement in the resistance. He said he also knew there was a resistance cell operating in the Musilla valley.” She swallowed, but her mouth remained set in a hard line.

“He said that he would slaughter the entire valley, all eight villages. About 1500 people if I did not find out and disclose the location of the resistance cell. You know as well as I do that they did not make empty threats. The lives of 1500 innocent people against the lives of 40 people who knew that they were probably going to die and had prepared for it. I could make no other decision.” She paused.

“I would make the same decision again today, even though it breaks my heart.” Tears were rolling freely down her face now, but she still maintained her implacable mask.

There was a long moment of silence. Yuuri didn’t know what to say. It was the hardest dilemma in the world. The question of which was the greater good. Yuuri could only be glad that he had never had to make such a decision. He had never had to weigh up right and wrong. He had known that the Cardassians were wrong and the resistance was right, it had been simple for him. Sometimes they would hear about repercussions taken against innocent villages for so called ‘aiding and abetting’ the resistance, but they all knew that the resistance wasn’t going to operate without the Cardassians hitting back. But nothing, nothing had prepared him for something on that scale. He didn’t know what to say.

“I am sorry Lilia. I didn’t know.” Victor said quietly.

“What are you going to do?” Yuuri asked.

“I...do not know right now. I ask for your patience. We still have a few days. Allow me to think about it and perhaps I can find a solution that will avoid more bloodshed.”

Yuuri and Victor left Lilia’s office in silence. Yuuri tentatively reached out and took Victor’s hand. The Vedek still seemed to be in a slight state of shock from what Lilia had said, so Yuuri pulled Victor along to Yuuri’s simple room. The only place big enough for the two of them to sit was the bed so Yuuri put his hands on Victor’s shoulders and gently pushed him to sit down. Victor was looking down at his hands and still hadn’t said a word.

“I don’t know what to do Yuuri. A part of me wants to condemn Lilia for daring to make that decision, but another part of me thinks that she was so brave.”

“Only the Prophets know the right decision Victor. Lilia will have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. I...I am just glad that I wasn’t the one who was put in that position. I’m not sure I would have weighed the scales the same way.”

Victor wiped at his eyes and Yuuri gently drew him into a hug.

~

Yuuri was failing miserably in his attempts to sleep the night before the start of the Gratitude festival. After several conversations with Lilia they were no closer to finding a solution. They had come up with a vague plan, but no one could be arrested until they had proof. An overheard conversation or a couple of overheard conversations weren’t exactly proof.

Lilia was prepared to make a public statement, but Yuuri could tell that she still hoped that it wouldn’t be necessary. The political upheaval would be immense. Lilia would step down and the Vedek Assembly would elect a new Kai. The population could easily split itself in two with a side supporting the villagers spared by the actions of the Kai, and a side supporting the family of the resistance members killed by the Cardassians. This was undoubtedly what the Cardassians had hoped to achieve by stirring up trouble. Yuuri knew that they would do all they could to make this result in turmoil for Bajor.

The start of the festival was marked by the gathering where first the Kai and then the Vedeks burned their Renewal Scrolls. Indicating that they were free from worry and ready to help those in need. Anyone else who applied could travel to the monastery for the ceremony and official start of the festival. They could burn their own scrolls as well, which always took on special significance when done at the monastery. It was busy, people applied months in advance for the opportunity and if you were drawn in the lottery you made sure to be available.

Yuuri wondered how Lee, Guang-Hong and Leo were going to manage to be there unless Lee had used his political connections to obtain places for the three of them. Yuuri’s hunch was soon confirmed. Lee was attending, and due to his high level was bringing two assistants whose names Yuuri didn’t recognise. Yuuri knew that they had to be Guang-Hong and Leo.

A knock on Yuuri’s door interrupted his tossing and turning. “Yes?”

“Yuuri? May I come in?” Victor’s voice was quiet.

“Of course, Victor.” The door opened to show a slightly dishevelled Victor standing in the door. “I couldn’t sleep and I wondered if you had the same problem?”

Yuuri wiped a hand across his forehead. “It’s torturing me. There’s no way I can sleep with this on my mind.”

Victor closed the door and stood just inside. Yuuri swung his legs out of bed and stretched. When he opened his eyes again, Victor’s face was just a little redder and he was looking at the window. Yuuri realised that his top had ridden up when he stretched. He felt a strange mixture of satisfaction and embarrassment that Victor was trying to fight an obvious reaction. The embarrassment won and Yuuri could feel his face burn.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so rude as to yawn in your face.”

Victor turned back, his face, if anything a little pinker, but resolute as if he’d made a decision. “Yuuri I...I should mention that I...” Victor paused and then came towards Yuuri and went down on his knees. Yuuri’s eyes widened. “...that I find you very attractive and I’m not sure that my purpose in coming here is entirely to do with seeing if you were able to sleep.” Victor held up his hand as Yuuri went to speak.

“Ever since you came to the monastery I have been fighting this attraction I feel for you. It isn’t appropriate to get involved with someone who has come looking for solace and time to recover, but…” Victor paused again and then pushed his fringe back looking fiercely at Yuuri. “We don’t know what will happen tomorrow and I couldn’t wait any longer to tell you how I feel.”

Victor rushed on. “I feel that you are the missing piece of me, a part of me I never knew I was missing until you came here. I had heard of your exploits and was saddened when you were lost, but if I had known then what I know now. I would have been devastated beyond belief. I don’t want to go into tomorrow with you not knowing how I feel.” Victor looked down at his hands gripping his knees.

Yuuri discovered that his mouth had dropped open on hearing Victor’s confession and he didn’t know how to respond. He reached out with a nervous hand and lifted Victor’s fringe with his fingers, peering under the hair to see Victor’s eyes. When Victor lifted his eyes to meet Yuuri’s there was such unspoken passion in his intense look that Yuuri didn’t even think. He just cupped Victor’s jaw with his other hand, raising it up and gently ran his thumb over Victor’s parted lips. Victor’s look became unfocused and Yuuri leaned forward, kissing Victor gently.

Yuuri melted into Victor, sinking down onto the floor to deepen the kiss. Victor’s arms came round him and he enthusiastically responded to Yuuri’s kiss. Victor eventually pulled away, Yuuri wasn’t sure how long it had been, time was suspended.

“We shouldn’t take this any further until you’ve left the monastery Yuuri...but I can’t leave you tonight.”

“Then stay.” Yuuri lifted himself back up onto his bed and pulled Victor up after him until Victor was sitting beside him on the edge of the bed. “Stay here with me tonight. We don’t have to take this any further. Just being here with you is enough for me. I need time to process what you just told me. I...I’ve looked up to you for so many years.” Victor’s eyes widened and his hands tightened on Yuuri’s.

“We used to hear through the resistance grapevine the things you’d done for people. The way you skillfully managed to get the Cardassians to change their minds about so many little things that made people’s lives easier. You were definitely my hero, and…” Yuuri decided to ignore the embarrassment and just tell Victor. “There was one cast where you berated the Gul for failing to check the safety of the building that collapsed in Hathon. They immediately shutdown the cast, but not before it was recorded and copied out to all of us. I...I would watch that time after time.”

“It was just words Yuuri. Words were all I was good with. Words were all I could fight with. It wasn’t enough.”

“It was enough for those of us who were fighting to know that the Cardassians weren’t having it all their own way, and we all appreciated it.”

They looked at each other and then Victor pulled Yuuri into a gentle hug. Yuuri allowed himself to stroke Victor’s hair. They stayed like that for a while then Yuuri pulled away and kissed Victor again. They lay down together and Yuuri shuffled closer to Victor’s back, hugging him. He placed a gentle kiss on Victor’s shoulder blade and closed his eyes murmuring, “Sleep my love.” He didn’t see Victor’s smile, but he knew it was there.

~

The sunlight in Victor’s face woke him from a deep sleep. He was disorientated at first until he felt Yuuri’s warm body snuggled up against his front and then he remembered the previous night and his confession. They must have turned over in their sleep. His grip tightened around Yuuri instinctively and he had to resist waking Yuuri with a kiss. His heart was aching with happiness to know that Yuuri felt attracted to him too, but he slowly released Yuuri and pulled away. His watch said that they didn’t have much time to get ready and he needed to be with Lilia before the ceremonies to open the festival begun. Yuuri just grumbled and shifted back into Victor and Victor had to grit his teeth and force himself off and out of the bed.

Lilia was obviously stressed when Victor entered her office. He had only spent a few minutes showering and dressing, arriving only a short while after he was supposed to.

“Victor!” She looked Victor up and down, examining his robes. “You will do. I will not let these self-righteous individuals ruin today’s celebration. The festival is for everyone. It should ease people’s minds, not create strife and discord. We will do our best to avoid any indication of trouble at the gathering to burn the scrolls today.”

“Of course, Eminence.” Victor replied smoothly, wearing the mask he usually wore when dealing with the general public.

“Victor,” Lilia’s voice softened. “You are one of the few people I would trust with the truth about the past.” She stepped over to Victor and took one of his hands in her own. “If they succeed with their plan today, do not grieve. I have done my best to redeem myself in the eyes of the prophets, and I do not face my fate unwillingly.”

Victor felt tears in his eyes at her words. Lilia had been a guiding force for the Bajorans for years. Being without her intelligence and insightfulness seemed unthinkable to Victor.

“It will not happen, your eminence. Yuuri and I will do everything we can to prevent it. The others are aware that we are expecting trouble at the opening ceremony and are on the watch for suspicious characters as well, although Yuuri and I have not gone into any details.”

“Thank you Victor. I’m sure everyone will do their best.” She straightened, letting go of his hand and picked up a scroll from her desk. “It is nearly time. Let us go. I assume that Katsuki Yuuri will join us there.”

“Yes, that is if everything goes to plan.” Victor followed Lilia as she swept out of her office and towards the hall where the crowds would gather for the start of the festival.

~

Yuuri woke to a cold feeling along his back. He sat up violently as the memories of last night hit him and then he curled into a ball. How could he have behaved that way to a Vedek? Victor was so far above him, in every way and Yuuri had...he gasped at the memory and curled tighter into the ball. His fingers crept to his mouth and even though he was cringing and ashamed he touched his lips and remembered the kiss. It was worth it. Even though he wouldn’t be able to look Victor in the face all day. It had been so worth it. That thought reminded Yuuri of the day ahead and he gasped and checked the time.

“Shit!” Rushing through his short morning routine as fast as possible he hopped around the room trying to get one trouser leg on whilst running a comb through his hair with the other hand. He lurched out of the door and ran to the hall where people were already beginning to gather. The doormen let him through with barely a glance, knowing exactly who he was. Yuuri tried to control his breathing and looked for Victor and Lilia. They were standing together at the other end of the room near the dais holding the ceremonial fire. Lilia was engaged in conversation with the First Minister and Victor was standing just a little behind Lilia and to one side watching carefully. They were all holding a scroll to burn, Yuuri cursed silently. He had completely forgotten his. Not that he could fit all his worries onto one scroll anyway.

He looked around the hall. He had one job, to find Lee, Leo and Guang-Hong and track their movements. There were so many people; Yuuri had trouble getting a clear view. He would have to mingle and try to find them. He slipped around people, trying to avoid having to talk to anyone, unfortunately, there was the occasional person who recognised and accosted him. He escaped from each of these encounters as quickly as possible. One over-eager junior political figure who seemed to just want to be seen talking to Katsuki Yuuri, the resistance hero, was resisting his attempts to back away. The woman didn't have anything significant to say at all and left Yuuri’s nerves screaming from her eagerness to relive things that he’d rather forget. He finally shook her off and turned away only to bump into someone.

“Watch where you’re going!”

Lee’s cold voice made Yuuri stiffen and he spun around. “I apologise Minister Seung-Gil. I didn’t see you.”

“Katsuki Yuuri! I’m sure a lot can be forgiven to someone who forwarded the cause of the resistance to such a degree.” Seung-Gil gave Yuuri a short bow and Yuuri held up his hands.

“N...no, please. I was just one of many who did what we could. I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.” Yuuri felt the pressure of the crowd and the intense stare that Lee gave him beginning to close in around him. He could feel the edges of his vision blurring and he croaked, “Excuse me, I just have to–” and pushed past Lee, noticing Leo with wide eyes beside him.

He hurriedly pushed his way to the edge of the hall where he was able to bury himself in a corner and try to control his breathing. What a time to be useless. Lilia’s life was in danger and here he was hiding in a corner. He ground his teeth and forced the panic down. He didn’t have time for this. Later...he could panic afterwards. He knew he would pay the price later for suppressing it now.

At least he’d found Lee and Leo. Now he had to calm down enough to find Guang-Hong. Yuuri edged his way around the large room. It was getting slightly easier as people were gravitating towards the middle to watch Lilia ceremonially burn her scroll on which she had written all her worries.

Yuuri saw Lee and Leo making their way towards the dais where Lilia was about to give the prophet’s blessing and burn her Renewal Scroll. He also saw that Victor was keeping a close eye on them, but where was Guang-Hong.  He had to be around. Yuuri couldn’t see the shorter man through the crowd. He had to get closer. Victor would burn his scroll next, and it would be the perfect opportunity to target Lilia when all eyes were on Victor.

“May the Prophets bless this festival and free us all from our worries. May the Prophet’s blessing help us overcome our past difficulties and move forward towards happiness. Tesra Peldor impatri bren. Bentel vetan ullon sten...” Lilia continued to give the traditional address and turned to gently throw the scroll into the flames, watching it burn, her hands clasped in front of her.

She turned and gestured for Victor to come forward. Yuuri could tell that Victor was expecting an attack. His shoulder blades were tense. Yuuri could see through the public mask that Victor was wearing to the strain underneath. By now, Yuuri had worked his way around the room and was standing behind the dais, directly behind Lilia, but no one was near. Maybe he had misheard? Maybe they had changed their minds?

Victor turned back to Lilia as his scroll flamed momentarily, and some of the tension dropped away when he saw Yuuri hovering behind. The First Minister was next, and then the other official guests would take turns, ending with the ordinary people who had won the chance to be here at the opening ceremony.

Yuuri had nearly managed to convince himself that he had imagined the whole conversation in the wilds, when Seung-Gil Lee walked up to burn his scroll. Lee tripped over his something on the dais and Leo rushed forward to help him stand again, neatly diverting all attention to Lee and Leo. That’s when Yuuri saw Guang-Hong. The young man was standing right next to Lilia and there was a flash of metal as he pulled a long, wicked looking knife from a hidden sheath on his leg. Yuuri didn’t think and lunged forward, pushing Lilia out of the way of the rising knife. People cried out as Lilia stumbled violently and fell. Victor managed to catch her before she hit the floor.

Yuuri turned to face Guang-Hong and felt a pain in his side. Guang-Hong was backing away with a horrified expression on his face, and when Yuuri looked down he saw blood dripping onto the floor. He felt dizzy and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he looked up into Victor’s stricken face and realised he was laying down. How did he get to be laying down? Oh, he’d been stabbed. Yuuri raised one arm to Victor’s face; the other wouldn’t work for some reason and smiled.

“I love you.”

 

~

 

_Dear Professor Liho,_

_I read your book with fascination. The way you pieced together the history of my ancestors was enthralling. I was honoured to be involved in your research and I am very pleased with the results._

_Our family history has always told the story of the resistance hero and the Kai and it’s incredible to have their story finally published._

_The other stories are all fascinating too. Dr Chulanont’s meeting with Starfleet’s Captain Giacometti and his cure for the Goltian Plague was one I particularly enjoyed, especially as the Chulanont family and ours have remained friends to this day._

_This book will be something I will treasure._

_Thank you,_

_Katsuki-Nikiforov Liru_

  
_Korto City_  
_40th Onemonth 2872_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The short epilogue should be out by the end of the week, you probably won't need to scream at me if you _read the tags_ :)


	4. Kintsugi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter, a short epilogue so you finally find out what happened. I'm sorry I've taken so long to post this, but so much has happened in the two weeks that I've barely kept my live organised - let alone writing fic.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ending.

Victor woke up much later than usual. The sunlight was streaming in through the gossamer curtains in his new rooms, making him blink and rub at his eyes in the brightness. He hadn’t woken this late in a long time. Normally the light was only just beginning to stain the horizon when he was up. Now, he was struggling to wake up properly and clear the fog from his brain. He had to admit that the last few weeks had been tiring. The exhaustion reached the point where he was found asleep on his desk in the middle of the afternoon. At that point his assistants had demanded that he stop, and they declared that the next day would be a rest day, cancelling all his appointments. He needed time to recover, to gather his thoughts, and was gently pushed back to his rooms despite his protesting.

So today was a rest day, a day he could spend with Yuuri. He placed a hand out, but the space beside him in the bed was cold. Victor’s heart clenched; he squeezed his eyes shut and tangled his fingers in the sheet, pulling it into a ball. He felt the physical presence of Yuuri in the bed, it was so tangible that he could nearly reach out and put his arms round it. He couldn’t...he couldn’t spend his day of rest thinking about could have happened.

He didn’t want to think about that day and still tried to blot out the memories whenever they came up. After the attempt on Lilia’s life, she had admitted the truth and stepped down as Kai. People were astounded by the revelation, and the debate raged for days as to whether she’d done the right thing. But in the end, it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. Although people were split, no turmoil occurred and it blew over very quickly. It had, though, taken weeks for the Vedek Assembly to decide who should be the new Kai.

Victor hadn’t wanted the job, but in the end, he caved in. People seemed to have it in their heads that he was the best candidate, and they wouldn’t believe his demurring. Luckily, Lilia was highly organised. With her guidance, taking on the mantle of religious leader of the Bajoran people had been far easier than expected. The weight of his new responsibilities was heavy on his shoulders though, and if it wasn’t for one person he would have refused and left the planet.

One person who believed in him above all others. One person who had encouraged him to be more than he ever thought he could be. One person who wasn’t here...

~

Yuuri woke up unusually early to the cry of a hawk outside the window. It had taken him a while to get used to their new quarters and even now, weeks later, he was still disturbed easily. At first the new feeling had caused him to return to his fear-filled awakenings of the past. He lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the fact that, for once, he had woken feeling rested and happy. The cause of that happiness was laying beside him snoring gently. Yuuri suppressed a giggle. He wanted to hug Victor close. Maybe they could continue from where they left off the previous night? Yuuri let out a quiet sigh; he knew that Victor needed this day to rest and forced himself out of bed.

He pulled on some trousers and walked to the open doors of the balcony, the light curtains billowing in the cool breeze as he walked through them. It had been one of those warm autumnal evenings and they left the doors open, wanting to enjoy the fresh air as much as possible before the winter closed in. Standing on the balcony in the morning was one of Yuuri’s greatest joys these days; the sense of freedom gave him so much pleasure. He leaned over the railing and gazed at the wonderful view. It was quite a privilege being the fiance of the Kai; he still couldn’t quite believe it had actually happened. Looking down at the gold ring shining in the sunlight on his finger, their rings of promises to each other. Bringing it up to his lips he kissed it softly trying to send waves of love back to the sleeping man in the bed. He thought back to how it could all have been so different...

The ‘I love you’ he had said to Victor was the last thing Yuuri knew for a few hours. They had planned for the worst case scenario and Phichit had been flown down from Deep Space Nine for the ceremony having the benefit of both Bajoran medical knowledge and the new knowledge gained from his apprenticeship. While the ceremony took place, he was hiding out of the way in a back room. They thought that it would be too suspicious to have a doctor known to be training with the federation obviously taking part in the ceremony.

_ Yuuri opened his eyes to his old room and a vice-like grip on his hand. When he turned his head, Victor was kneeling beside the bed with his head on the sheets. Phichit was sitting in the chair at Yuuri’s desk, looking at his pad with his head propped on one hand. _

_ “....” Yuuri’s throat was dry, and when nothing came out, he tried to clear his throat. “How am I doing doc?” he croaked when Phichit looked over. _

_ Phichit started to beam, and Victor’s hand spasmed on his as he raised his head to look at Yuuri. _

_ “I thought I’d lost you. Don’t ever do that again, Yuuri! I can’t take it.” Victor’s voice cracked as he kissed Yuuri’s hand. _

_ “Don’t be ridiculous Victor. Yuuri wasn’t in any danger – not while I was there.” Phichit came over and fiddled with the medical tricorder, looking at Yuuri’s signs. “A couple of days rest and he’ll be completely back to normal.” _

_ “Can I sit up?” Yuuri asked. _

_ “Yes, you should be fine. Everything’s knitted back together; it’s just the blood loss I can’t do anything about, so nothing strenuous for a couple of days.” Phichit glared at them both and they both had the grace to blush. _

_ Yuuri pushed himself upright, looking into Victor’s tear-filled eyes, and was astonished to find that he didn’t even have a twinge of pain. He glanced up at Phichit. “That didn’t even hurt! Things have certainly improved in the years I was away.” _

_ “Well, treating injuries was one of the few areas that the Federation was ahead of us in.” Phichit huffed. “I’ll leave you two alone now, but remember, no strenuous activity!” _

_ “Phichit!” Yuuri desperately wanted to throw his pillow at Phichit as the younger man backed out of the room, but was distracted by Victor throwing his arms around him. “Victor! Victor, I’m alright.” _

_ “I hadn’t realised how much you’d come to mean to me Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was muffled in Yuuri’s chest. “I knew I loved you, but when you were injured and passed out on the floor covered in blood... It was only then I knew that I loved you beyond reason and I would give up everything for us to be together.” _

_ “Oh, Victor,” Yuuri felt an ache in his chest, “I love you. I’ve loved you for years.” Victor raised his head and looked at Yuuri, eyes wide and mouth open. Yuuri looked down, embarrassed at his own words. “I couldn’t tell you before. I couldn’t hold you to me. Who am I? Just a person who happened to be in the right place at the right time and I somehow got famous as a result. People will forget about me soon enough, but you. You’re a good person, an acclaimed leader and Bajor needs you.” Victor went to interrupt but Yuuri put his finger on Victor’s mouth. _

_ “I think, I know now, that this is for real and that I can’t be separated from you. And I too would give everything up to follow you and be together.” _

_ Victor kissed Yuuri’s finger, which was still resting on Victor’s lips, and his eyes glinted in mischief as he moved to take it into his mouth and suck. Yuuri’s eyes went wide, but before he could say anything the door was thrown open with a bang. _

_ “Hey! Pig! You’re alive.” Yuri Plisetsky burst into the room and they both jumped. _

_ “You know, even while the Cardassians were here, knocking on someone’s door was still a standard way to ask for entry,” Victor drawled. _

_ “I don’t have time for that; I’ve got to get back to the station. Some of us have work to do.” Yuri stood there with his arms crossed. _

_ Yuuri put one hand on Victor’s shoulder to stop him from getting up. “Thank you for being concerned Yuri. I’ll be fine. When did you get here?” _

_ Yuri huffed, “I came down with Phichit. I wasn’t going to let them get away with anything. What the fuck did you think you were doing? What’s with this last minute hero shit you pulled. You could’ve died.” _

_ Victor smiled and turned back to Yuuri, “I think he likes you.” _

_ Yuuri smiled back, “I think he does.” _

_ “Tchh! You’ll be glad to know that Minister Seung-Gil, Leo and Guang-Hong are under arrest. Lilia wants you to meet her as soon as possible. She needs you there when she makes a statement. So if you’re all fine, then I’ll go back to what I’m supposed to be doing, instead of clearing up messes that aren’t in my jurisdiction.” With that Major Plisetsky turned and stormed back out with as much energy as he came in. _

_ “He is so much like his mother,” Yuuri commented. _

_ “Now, where were we.” Victor leaned back towards Yuuri, his intent obvious in his eyes. _

_ “Phichit said no strenuous exercise, and Lilia needs you! ...Victor!” _

Yuuri smiled to himself and watched the hawk circling lazily in the sky. After their mutual declaration, Victor was incorrigible. It had finally taken Phichit shooing Victor out of the room to let Yuuri rest. Not that Yuuri wasn’t enjoying the attention; in fact, Yuuri was as disappointed as Victor to have their kissing session interrupted.

He heard a quiet step behind him and felt hands slide around his chest. Victor rested his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder and hummed. Yuuri raised his hand to caress Victor’s face.

“I missed you in bed this morning,” Victor complained sleepily.

“You slept in. I didn’t want to wake you; you’ve been so busy.”

“Well I’m awake now, so come back to bed.” Victor turned Yuuri round and pressed him gently against the balustrade bringing one hand up to the nape of Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri shuddered and leaned in. Their lips met hungrily, and Yuuri lost himself in the kiss as his hands came up to run through Victor’s hair. Victor pulled away panting and grabbed Yuuri’s hand, urging him back inside. Yuuri followed willingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger (not really) in the last chapter, but you knew didn't you. I just can't have an unhappy ending.
> 
> This was not an easy story to write for some reason. I found that I don't like putting poor Yuuri through that much trauma. They live happily ever after and that's the important thing. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think in the comments, I am open to constructive criticism, and there's always room for improvement ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to 8Verity8 for the amazing art and especially for her encouragement and beta reading this. Also I really, really appreciate [Saniika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saniika/pseuds/Saniika) for beta reading this too, her comments were invaluable and [callasyndra's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callasyndra/pseuds/callasyndra) help with beta reading for PTSD mentions and treatment.
> 
> The support from everyone on the Victuri 2.0 Bang server has been wonderful.
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@narcissuspseudonarcissus](https://narcissuspseudonarcissus.tumblr.com/) if you want to scream at me and so is [@8Verity8](https://8verity8.tumblr.com/) if you want to scream at her about her wonderful art.
> 
> Glossary:
> 
> Kai - religious leader of the Bajoran people
> 
> Pagh - a person’s soul energy
> 
> Vedek - a religious leader on Bajor serves in the vedek assembly
> 
> Latinum - An element used as currency by the Ferengi
> 
> Grand Negus - the leader of the Ferengi people
> 
> Hyurin - a small rat/hamster like creature from Bajor
> 
> All names come from Memory Alpha or Beta the Star Trek fandom websites


End file.
